Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1602 of 6384
Don't worry Cat Zingano, I wouldn't last more than 14 seconds with Ronda Rousey either.
←Rate |
03-02-2015 12:25
Comments (0)
What if black people have been gold this whole time???
←Rate |
03-02-2015 12:08 by scooter
Comments (0)
The actor Peter Cullen voiced both Eeyore AND Optimus Prime. That trivia will be in your brain forever. You're welcome.
←Rate |
03-02-2015 06:14 by huck
Comments (0)
Math question: There are 36 Oreos in a 14.3oz package. If Mike eats 3 of those cookies, how many minutes before he's like screw it and eats the rest?
"Don't MAKE me turn this beat around!" — Gloria Estefan yelling at her kids
A fun part of your 40s is waking up thinking you're hungover, and then remembering, nope, this is just how my body feels now.
←Rate |
03-02-2015 06:06 by huck
Comments (0)
Accidentally used the dog's shampoo and my hair is super shiny but the neighbors won't like what I just did on their lawn.
Ten seconds of drug commercials are spent telling you what the drug is for and the rest is spent basically daring you to take it.
I very rarely piss people off but when I do it's usually loud and spectacular
←Rate |
03-02-2015 01:34
Comments (0)
Yes I am a fan , a huge fan of inappropriate behavior.
←Rate |
03-02-2015 01:33
Comments (0)
What do normal people do with their time?
←Rate |
03-02-2015 01:33
Comments (0)
Sorry for drunk texting last night. And this morning. And right now.
←Rate |
03-02-2015 01:30 by Czovczov
Comments (0)
The dress was white and gold until it decided to go on a date with Chris Brown.
My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
←Rate |
03-01-2015 16:22 by Nipper
Comments (0)
The best way to solve your relationship problems is to post about them on the internet and let your friends solve them for you.
←Rate |
03-01-2015 15:08
Comments (0)
A friend of mine drinks their coffee so black, it shot at him. . .
←Rate |
03-01-2015 12:35
Comments (0)
Ronda Rousey raped me, ok it wasn't rape, I enjoyed it. . .
←Rate |
03-01-2015 12:34 by JAB
Comments (0)
My dog says that dress is grey.
Hi, I hate Rob Lowe, I think about kicking his a$$ every time I see his stupid commercial. . .
←Rate |
02-28-2015 22:58 by JAM
Comments (0)
Beginning of relationship- 1) Don’t ever change. 2) You have to change. 3) You’ve changed. -End of relationship-
←Rate |
02-28-2015 22:44 by BEGO
Comments (0)