Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   Dear lady who says she will only date guys who drive Mercedes or BMW cars, yet your father drives a Hyundai; Why can't you be humble like your mother?

   Republican convention next week.... Hurricane Isaac is predicted to hit Florida next week.... Even Mother Nature doesn't like Republicans.

   my mother always told me , believe none of what yah hear, and only half of what yah see

   My mother-in-law has to work for "Tips",,,,,,,,,, Yeah,, You see, Nobody will put the whole thing in....

   Dude. Go shave your mustache. Just because it looks good on your mother doesn't mean you can wear it well.

   My 80 year young mother in law and I are fighting over who's gonna drive to the strip club..... priceless

   My mother-in-law's coming,,,,, I had to clear out half my closet so she has a place to hang upside down and sleep

   Some of you I'd like to take under my wing like a mother hen. Others of you I'd like to trap between my thighs like the Cougar that I am.

   Both George Zimmermans parents are hispan!c but he's wh!te, Obama's mother is wh!te but he's bl@ck-------Bl@ck people

   The reason folks who don't work @ Walmart know the deficit was 11 trillion in 2007 is because they graduated from high school and their sister in-wife isn't also their mother.

   My mother always told me if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all... And some people wonder why I'm so quiet around them.

   Some kid told my son knee pads are for pussies. I told him no, that's 'maxi' pads. And his mother should see a doctor.

   My girlfriend went home to visit her mother today. Or as I refer to it. Her "b!tch refresher course".

   Got my passport application forms back today..... Apparently in the Place of Birth section:"between my mother's legs" isn't an acceptable answer.

   what looks good on a mother in law? a doberman.

   what do you have when you have a mother in law buried up to her neck in sand? not enough sand.

   i went on a pleasure trip this morning. I took my mother in law back to the airport.

   what's an ideal weight for a mother in law? 3 pounds including the urn.

   I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

   I'm pretty sure I got my sense of humor from my mother because when I was 10 years old my Dad said he sent her to the funny farm.