Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1591 of 6452

To everyone who posts a second comment to correct your first comment, you know what edit means, right??
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06-02-2015 13:47
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I am looking forward to the day when a figure skater is brave enough to come out as openly straight
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06-02-2015 11:41
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We played our sports shirts and skins style in gym class. Whenever it was the guys turn to be shirts the girls won.
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06-02-2015 11:41
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Children of divorce like to complain, yet I'm the one who had to deal with both parents day in and day out.
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06-02-2015 11:25 by aka
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I could never hate someone for their political views when I can hate them for the way they chew.
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06-02-2015 11:23 by flinnie
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New Jersey residents are being advised to NOT eat the fish washed up in the sewer. Which is ironic considering the sewer is the cleanest part of New Jersey.
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06-02-2015 11:18 by Dude
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My retirement strategy is just me pretending to get sick and starting a gofundme account.
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06-02-2015 10:55
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Welcome to planet earth where when you see something unusual/abnormal/weird or out of the ordinary and point it out and suddenly you are labelled a hater and accused of being judgmental. SMH
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06-02-2015 10:18
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I've never liked FIFA either. They take way too much out of my paycheck.
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06-02-2015 07:09
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Caitlyn Jenner on the cover of Vanity Fair??? I haven't seen that much photoshop since a Lord of the Rings movie.
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06-02-2015 05:15
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"Thank you Caitlin!" --Josh Duggar
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06-01-2015 22:24
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I like that Linkin Park song where the guy suddenly screams.
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06-01-2015 21:57 by snotty
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I found your suicide note and corrected some grammatical errors. You're good to go.
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06-01-2015 21:56
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Someone in my state is wearing Axe Body Spray... ugh, I can smell it from here
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06-01-2015 21:27 by snotty
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Bruce Jenner went from paying $20 to get into the club to getting in for free.
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06-01-2015 20:50
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Look,,, all I'm saying is I've never seen Bruce Jenner and Caitlyn Jenner in the same room.
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06-01-2015 20:38 by snotty
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Ladies, if Josh Duggar says he "loves you like a sister"... RUN!!
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06-01-2015 20:03
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I bet Kim, Khloe and Kourtney are pretty angry with Caitlyn for hogging all the attention.
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06-01-2015 19:09 by mbejai
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After seeing Caitlyn photos, I'm starting to doubt if Lady Gaga is a drag queen.
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06-01-2015 17:15 by Niltzz
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Bruce Jenner can transition into whatever he/she wants to. All I ask is that his stepdaughters are transitioned into the bird $hi+ on my windshield, because I just got a fresh gallon of washer fluid.
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06-01-2015 17:08 by John Y
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