Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating


Search Messages:
Page: 1591 of 6452

   messageicon To everyone who posts a second comment to correct your first comment, you know what edit means, right??
←Rate | 06-02-2015 13:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am looking forward to the day when a figure skater is brave enough to come out as openly straight
←Rate | 06-02-2015 11:41 Comments (1)  


   messageicon We played our sports shirts and skins style in gym class. Whenever it was the guys turn to be shirts the girls won.
←Rate | 06-02-2015 11:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Children of divorce like to complain, yet I'm the one who had to deal with both parents day in and day out.
←Rate | 06-02-2015 11:25 by aka Comments (0)  


   messageicon I could never hate someone for their political views when I can hate them for the way they chew.
←Rate | 06-02-2015 11:23 by flinnie Comments (0)  


   messageicon New Jersey residents are being advised to NOT eat the fish washed up in the sewer. Which is ironic considering the sewer is the cleanest part of New Jersey.
←Rate | 06-02-2015 11:18 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon My retirement strategy is just me pretending to get sick and starting a gofundme account.
←Rate | 06-02-2015 10:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome to planet earth where when you see something unusual/abnormal/weird or out of the ordinary and point it out and suddenly you are labelled a hater and accused of being judgmental. SMH
←Rate | 06-02-2015 10:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've never liked FIFA either. They take way too much out of my paycheck.
←Rate | 06-02-2015 07:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Caitlyn Jenner on the cover of Vanity Fair??? I haven't seen that much photoshop since a Lord of the Rings movie.
←Rate | 06-02-2015 05:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Thank you Caitlin!" --Josh Duggar
←Rate | 06-01-2015 22:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like that Linkin Park song where the guy suddenly screams.
←Rate | 06-01-2015 21:57 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I found your suicide note and corrected some grammatical errors. You're good to go.
←Rate | 06-01-2015 21:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Someone in my state is wearing Axe Body Spray... ugh, I can smell it from here
←Rate | 06-01-2015 21:27 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bruce Jenner went from paying $20 to get into the club to getting in for free.
←Rate | 06-01-2015 20:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Look,,, all I'm saying is I've never seen Bruce Jenner and Caitlyn Jenner in the same room.
←Rate | 06-01-2015 20:38 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, if Josh Duggar says he "loves you like a sister"... RUN!!
←Rate | 06-01-2015 20:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I bet Kim, Khloe and Kourtney are pretty angry with Caitlyn for hogging all the attention.
←Rate | 06-01-2015 19:09 by mbejai Comments (0)  


   messageicon After seeing Caitlyn photos, I'm starting to doubt if Lady Gaga is a drag queen.
←Rate | 06-01-2015 17:15 by Niltzz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bruce Jenner can transition into whatever he/she wants to. All I ask is that his stepdaughters are transitioned into the bird $hi+ on my windshield, because I just got a fresh gallon of washer fluid.
←Rate | 06-01-2015 17:08 by John Y Comments (0)  




Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left