life Funny Status Messages

   n't it ironic that to be popular on social networks, you have to sacrifice your social life.

   Life is a beach, i'm just playing in the sand.

   what with all this god stuff, Stop it . Get a life you must be a myspace person.

   Life is a waste of time, Time is a waste of life. So, get wasted all the time and have the time of ur life ;)

   When God asks what you've done with your life, try not to say “Didn't you read my statuses?”

   Life is like an FB friend list, people come into your life an present unlimited possibilities. What you do with them is up to you. Some you interact with. Some you don't . And some you say "Who the heck is this person and what are they doing in my life?

   A movie about Justin Bieber's life? I am looking forward to part 2, "From Puberty To Obscurity."

   Thank you Facebook for reminding me of my anniversary. Please feel free to torment me with reminders of all of my other poor life decisions while you're at it....

   To everyone who take time to "Like" my status the very minute I post my status, Get a life and get off the facebook

   I called a company and heard "Don't fear the Reaper" while I was on hold. At first it seemed cool, but do I really want Life Insurance from a company that plays that?!?! ;-)

   Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson (Good Luck to those playing the powerball!!)

   Dear Drama Queens who cry ab not every status being hillarious.. Isnt that the point? You scroll through all the crappy ones, kill a little time in ur day then BAM got one!!! Sorry we cant just hand you everything in life.

   One of the most exciting things about life is not knowing what's next.

   's 2010 New Year's resolution is to re-enact the movie "The Hangover" in real life.

   My wife and I have an agreement...I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run my life.

   Have you ever read a book or watched a film that touched your soul so deeply it changed your entire outlook on life? I just took a dump like that….

   I can't believe I wasn't paying attention at 1:11 on 1/1/11. Argh. I waited all my life for that to happen. Darn, darn, darn it. 2:22 on 2/2/22 just won't be the same.

   Life is too short to wake up with regrets.So love the people who treat you right. Forget about those who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it, and if it changes your life, let it. Enjoy life: you only have one!

   May the blessings of the new year pass me by and find someone less fortunate. My life is not perfect but I have no reason to complain. I am lucky to have what I have.

   I really do wish there was a pause button in life, like those twix commercials when you "need a moment?" I would smack the shet out of some people and they would have no idea what hit them!