Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
1544
1545
1546
1547
1548
1549
1550
1551
6384
Next»
Page: 1548 of 6384
"After the Thrill is Gone" is my favorite song about married sex.
6
5
←Rate |
05-06-2015 13:29
Comments (
0
)
Girls who say "alot of guys are after me" should keep in mind that low prices attract many customers.
58
12
←Rate |
05-06-2015 11:08
Comments (
0
)
I never use my phone as a phone. Not because I don't like talking, I just never forgave them for all the times they kicked me off the internet.
5
14
←Rate |
05-06-2015 10:50
Comments (
0
)
How you get almond milk? Almonds ain't got no nipples!
7
16
←Rate |
05-06-2015 10:21 by
Dude
Comments (
0
)
My go-to office prank is to go onto someone's unattended Facbook page and post "I'm undecided, which should I get, Android or iPhone"
7
16
←Rate |
05-06-2015 09:23
Comments (
0
)
I just walked into a spider web and now I know all of Katy Perry's dance moves.
16
8
←Rate |
05-06-2015 09:13
Comments (
0
)
Learn how to spell.
32
7
←Rate |
05-06-2015 09:13
Comments (
0
)
why do elephants have four feet? Because six and a half inches just ain't long enough
6
20
←Rate |
05-06-2015 06:48
Comments (
0
)
why don't dentist offer 50 percent discounts to meth heads just to gum up business
16
16
←Rate |
05-06-2015 06:47
Comments (
0
)
The difference between drinking on Saint Patricks Day and drinking on Cinco De Mayo is... ...nobody pretends to be a Mexican.
63
11
←Rate |
05-05-2015 16:36
Comments (
0
)
OK ladies; for the last time, stop the birthday month crap. You get one day, not a whole month you greedy b****es.
36
18
←Rate |
05-05-2015 15:42
Comments (
0
)
Everyone wants to be Mexican for today Cinco De Mayo.. But nobody wants to work like Juan
37
9
←Rate |
05-05-2015 14:54 by
Khaos
Comments (
0
)
I don't need to know how to read Chinese to know that your neck tatoo says "I earn minimum wage"
60
11
←Rate |
05-05-2015 13:26
Comments (
0
)
I just accidentally typed my symptoms into IMDB instead of WebMD and it says I have Gary Busey.
35
12
←Rate |
05-05-2015 13:23
Comments (
0
)
Life is like a box of chocolates. Get your own and stay the hell out of mine.
56
10
←Rate |
05-05-2015 13:14
Comments (
0
)
Damn gurl... Are you left over pizza from Saturday night because I was going to get rid of you but now that I'm drunk ur all I can think about.
9
30
←Rate |
05-05-2015 13:13
Comments (
0
)
It’s only every seven years that you get to celebrate Taco Tuesday and Cinco De Mayo on the same day.
47
10
←Rate |
05-05-2015 12:29
Comments (
1
)
Since building the 6 million dollar man in the 70s, he's depreciated in value so much over time he's now known as 50cent.
16
9
←Rate |
05-05-2015 10:32
Comments (
0
)
I'm no magician, but they've never found the bodies I made disappear.
3
14
←Rate |
05-05-2015 10:29
Comments (
0
)
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone. - alcohol
7
12
←Rate |
05-05-2015 10:28
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
1544
1545
1546
1547
1548
1549
1550
1551
6384
Next»
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com