nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   Some watch football for the game. Some watch it so the commercials will let them know what questions to ask their doctor.

   ESPN's Ron Jaworski just apologized for saying "sh*t" live on the air during Monday Night Football. Which just goes to prove that 90% of sportscasters don't notice to all the dumb krap that comes outta there own mouths anyway.

   What's the objective for Jewish football......To get the quarterback!

   never understood people watching a football game wearing their team jersey. Thats like me watching CSI dressed as a dead hooker.

   I met a girl the other day. She said it's a must for her mate to be into the arts. I told her I am very much into the arts... the art of beer drinking, the art of watching football, and the art of long walks on the beach after anal.

   Peggy - "Tell me you love me, Al - "I love football, I love beer, let's not cheapen the meaning of the word."

   Football season is a lot like my se(x) life....except for I actually care when football season is coming.

   OK ladies....College football starts tonight!! You may now start to cheat, shop or whatever.....Just shut up and stay out of the Man Cave!!

   I've missed you so much, I've dreamt about you night after night. I can't believe I've lived without you, I know we will be together soon....Just 3 more days till college football!

   Philadelphia is out of batteries. Not sure if its cause of the hurricane or cause football season is about to start

   I'm holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team

   Although preseason football is like non-alcoholic beer, it feels like the lockout added 10% of alcohol content

   BREAKING NEWS: United States resumes not caring about soccer, looks forward to NFL Football in September

   Hi, I'm a chick. I like long walks around football stadiums, am interested in sexist jokes about my own gender, and I'm strongly talented in the art of shutting up. Unfortunately, I'm the only one...

   Thanks for all the birthday wishes. I also accept gifts in the form of beer, casual sex and football tickets.

   No sport in this lifetime has ever brought the world together as football... You know, the real kind, not the overcommercialized self nominated world championship superbowl.... FUTBOL!!

   now that oprah is gone, Can we put daily football on?

   If the NBA wants to increase viewers, they should start playing FOOTBALL!!!

   I can't stand those people who hate football but still go along to games to deliberately cause trouble and ruin them for everybody else. Bloody referees.

   What makes the Superbowl half time show better than the Grammys? The Superbowl half-time show was only 1/2 hour.