Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1497 of 6384
The story of People of Lut (or Lot) has been preserved for these exact times. To serve as reminder to us what the end result of People of Sodom & Gomorrah (pure destruction) for their deviant/foridden sexual practices. Our Maker has warned from such sins
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06-29-2015 16:23
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Be patient freaks, give it a few more years and you will be able to marry your dog
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06-29-2015 16:17
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All the brain dead idiots that watch and listen to FOX news must be pretty pissed they haven't been able to marry their 1st cousion yet.....or their goat.
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06-29-2015 16:03
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My GF said I don't listen to her. Or something like that...
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06-29-2015 15:51
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"Your career could be in jeopardy" ~ Alex Trebek's agent in 1984
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06-29-2015 15:02
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when you're married, everybody looks good to you.
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06-29-2015 14:35
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I never know what to say to pregnanant women so I just say, "I like to screw too"
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06-29-2015 14:28
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Wife: Wanna have sex? Me: Sure, a quickie or do you want the full 2 minutes?
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06-29-2015 14:28
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I bet the first person to see a sun set was all like, "well... this ain't good"
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06-29-2015 14:26
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"Drink Responsibly?".... LOL, Responsibility is WHY I drink.
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06-29-2015 14:26
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Two in the blue, one in the poo. ~ How to give Smurfette a shocker.
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06-29-2015 14:24
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"Herrreee kitty, kitty, kitty" ~ Me, drunk, about to get bit by a raccoon.
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06-29-2015 14:23
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Now that you've won your right to marry, ya think we could get a couple colors back. I mean, the whole rainbow... seariously?!?!
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06-29-2015 14:22
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Jesus had two dads and he seemed to turn on just fine.
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06-29-2015 14:21
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My ex told me to grow a pair of balls, but I'm growing petunias for my garden instead.
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06-29-2015 13:07
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The escalator at the gym is broken, this is BULlcrap.
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06-29-2015 12:52
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Did you hear that? That was a g@y man farting without his butplug.
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06-29-2015 11:51 by Rudeass
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I'm old but not "Change to Channel 3 to play video games" old.
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06-29-2015 10:31
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Will E.L. James' next book be called "Fifity Shades of Gay"?
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06-29-2015 10:26
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Accompanied by girlfriend to a special screening of "Magic Mike XXL" last night. The nudity....The foul language.... The ladies screaming at the top of their lungs. And that was just me standing in line for popcorn....
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06-29-2015 07:30 by FLA PAULY
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