Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1489 of 6384
Just got kicked out of Subway for asking if I could get a footlong Spicy Italian in my Kids Meal....
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07-07-2015 17:48 by Sully
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Its 2015, why do babies still have cords.
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07-07-2015 15:22
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Well I guess this the recent news about Jared might put a whole new meaning to "six inch sub" instead of Footlong
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07-07-2015 14:44
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I was surprised by how poorly attended my high school reunion was until I rememberd the graduation day bear attack.
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07-07-2015 14:01
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The current Facebook dilema: How long until I can remove my rainbow filter avi without looking like a homophobe?
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07-07-2015 14:00
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At first I thought it said, "Kourtney Kardashian takes a dump on Scott Disick" which would make much more sense.
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07-07-2015 14:00
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You keep writing inspirational messages on Facebook, bro. I'll be over here banging that chick you like.
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07-07-2015 13:58
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My sex tape looks like Stephen Hawking trying to pull himself out of a bathtub.
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07-07-2015 13:58
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I didn't read the article but let me tell you what I think about the headline.
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07-07-2015 13:49
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*Sitting around camp fire* And when your phone rang, you had no idea who it was *kids get up and run away screaming*
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07-07-2015 12:34
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Apparently Jared was also fond of the occasional 2 inch sub.
"Hi Kids! Wanna see how I lost all this weight playing hide the salami? And you might get to see my footlong!!! (which is actually 11")
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07-07-2015 11:40 by Yaj
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You know, it didn't say anywhere in my Subway contract that I couldn't order off the kid's menu."
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07-07-2015 11:01
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Subway's new slogan should be "Eat fresh, but not TOO fresh."
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07-07-2015 10:58
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Subway always charges more than 5 bucks for their foot longs, bout time the FEDs do something about that.
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07-07-2015 10:56
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The police raid Jareds house where he confesses that he never liked Subway sandwiches in the first place.
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07-07-2015 10:50
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If hJared Fogle goes to jail for this, he can expect a footlong of a different variety.
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07-07-2015 10:19
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Only reason I’m here is to find a trustworthy babysitter.
Remember when emojis were just called clip art and everyone thought they were stupid?
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07-06-2015 23:16 by eengrms
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When anyone asks me to describe myself I just say "tired".
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07-06-2015 21:14 by snotty
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