Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1474 of 6384
The one good thing Donald Trump has going for him is that the more he speaks the less ridiculous his hair seems by comparison.
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07-25-2015 13:13
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I'll take a low-fat, mocha, chai, organic-soy-milk latte, with a shot of French vanilla, sprinkled with unicorn soul, please.
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07-25-2015 13:01
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Only 273 fruit roll-ups to go until I get my full serving of fruit...
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07-25-2015 13:00
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Don't "xoxoxoxo" unless you mean it... I'm not flying to Budapest again...
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07-25-2015 12:59
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“One shot, one kill, one apology.” - Canadian Sniper.
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07-25-2015 12:57
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I was born and raised in the circus, so as a young boy I use to dream of running away from home and joining the suburbs.
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07-25-2015 12:56
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If silly putty would have applied itself, it could have been serious putty.
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07-25-2015 12:54
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At what point did our country become invaded by insensitive @$$holes who lack empathy?
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07-25-2015 08:39
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Obama is proposing a dress code for America so no one offends each other
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07-24-2015 22:34
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With another unfortunate mass shooting incident, this will respark another debate about how rampant gun violence is... WAIT!! HULK HOGAN SAID THE N-WORD?!!!! Stop the presses!!!
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07-24-2015 17:44
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Sometimes I do FB with my 3D glasses on... It's almost like you guys are right here with me!!
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07-24-2015 17:33 by Sully
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It's what's on the inside that counts, and other things ugly people say.
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07-24-2015 17:14 by aka
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ok i'm done with the ice bucket Challenge .... WHATS next ?
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07-24-2015 15:21
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We are not going to call him President Trump, instead he simply prefers "the Donald"
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07-24-2015 15:08
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Soooo.... I take it we should expect to see Hulk Hogan put in his bid for the next GOP Presidental candidate now?
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07-24-2015 14:05
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We're not friends until I have at least 38 pictures of you passed out somewhere on on my phone.
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07-24-2015 11:23
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If a bear tries to attack you in the woods, give it your bicycle. Maybe it's one of those circus bears, you never know.
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07-24-2015 11:13
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I bet the worst person to have negotiating you down from a ledge would be the members of Van Halen.
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07-24-2015 11:03
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With all the craziness going on in the world, I can just say; stay strapped, my friends.
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07-24-2015 10:47 by Dude
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How is gun control working in Chicago?
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07-24-2015 08:33
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