Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1473 of 6384
I snuck popcorn into the movie theatre but they won't let me use their microwave.
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07-26-2015 18:04
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There should be a day in between Saturday and Sunday.
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07-26-2015 18:03
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In reality all girls are crazy so you better just pick your favorite type.
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07-26-2015 17:57
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Look for my new diet book: "How To Work Out And Watch What You Eat And Still Gain Plenty Of Weight"
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07-26-2015 15:47
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Financial status: Hanging out in front of my favorite restaurant kissing anyone who has food around their mouth and in their teeth.
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07-26-2015 14:03
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As others prepare for another exciting college school year. I prepare myself for another 40 hour work week.
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07-26-2015 13:57
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Saying "I'm offended" is basically telling the world you can't control your own emotions so everyone else should do it for you.
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07-26-2015 12:35
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I don't remember how the saying goes, but I think it's Rum before Whiskey, before Vodka, = Heart Palpitations.
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07-26-2015 11:10 by John Y
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I am not sure how I missed this, busy I guess, but Monica Lewinsky turned 42 earlier this week, it seems like only yesterday she was crawling around the White House on her knees.
The stock market continues to go up, and is probably a good place to invest your money if you have any. But as good as it sounds, if I ever get any extra I'm opting for canned goods and ammo......!
I think that Americans should be less concerned about Donald Trump's hair, and more concerned with the screw that came loose underneath it.
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07-26-2015 09:57
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Moving into the White house would be living in poverty for Trump...he'd be slumming it.
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07-26-2015 09:19 by Mike
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Of all the game show hosts, Trump seems to be the last one you'd vote for. I like Drew Carey, Alex Trebek or Steve Harvey better
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07-26-2015 09:10
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Trump for president!! Come on pple!
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07-26-2015 03:17
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Time is the only real enemy......* JK. It’s spiders.
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07-25-2015 18:33 by snotty
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Want to get a song stuck in your head...After midnight, we're gonna let it all hang down...After midnight..After midnight,
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07-25-2015 15:27
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When you think about it, it's a rather fine line with some between insulting them and describing them
Someone else can have my fifteen minutes of fame.
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07-25-2015 15:00
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I don’t chase after men. I don’t even walk after them.
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07-25-2015 15:00
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I'm sorry I asked you what your "hair" was made out of.
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07-25-2015 14:59
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