love Funny Status Messages

   Drinking, smoking and fatty foods are taking too long to kill me. I had to fall in love again to speed-up the process.

   When gays hack into their gay mate's facebook accounts, do they change the status to, “I'M STRAIGHT AND I LOVE EATING PU$$Y!”?

   I love burritos at four a.m. Parties that never end. I love quarterbacks eating dirt Pom-poms and short skirts And...and twins!"

   I love it when the person's laugh is funnier than the actual joke.

   A guy hears his wife's voice from the kitchen, "What would you like for dinner my love? chicken, beef or lamb?" He said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken." she yells back, "You're having soup you jerk! I was talking to the cat!"

   You've been dating for 2 days - you don't love each other.... Shutup!

   I just love some of the things men say to get us into bed"Baby I'll only put it in for one minute!"What am I?!?!A fricken microwave!?!!!

   I love getting all these "you are soo funny"!" You make me laugh so much!!" Yeah well I can make you moan also status king blah

   Oh, Doctor, doctor, can't you see I'm burning, burning..Oh, Doctor, doctor, is this love I'm feeling? OK.. Thompson Twins I am going to say no if you are taking a piss!

   ˜Sort of" shouldn't be used in certain phrases. Like after "I love you" or "You're going to live" or "It's a boy."

   U love someone and you marry someone else. The one you marry becomes ur wife and the one you love becomes the password of your email

   to all of my FB friends: I love you all and you are fabulous! Except for you #78; you are just an ass. You know who you are so don't even try to fake the funk...

   I love having the power to make you read my status updates for no reason. Who's my b*tch? That's right you are!

   LOVE it when i'm home alone! There is nobody to verify that I have done NOTHING in the last 2 hours.

   Dear Auntie Em, "I Hate you and I hate Kansas, I'm leaving and I'm taking the dog.... Love Dorothy.

   if "rawr" means "i love you" then why does it scare me?

   ahh young love.Full of promise,full of hope.Ignorant of reality.Not all guys can turn into vampires n watch you sleep at night..am jus sayin.

   Friday, I've tried to see other days and none compare to you, I love you.

   If you love to make your own homemade beef jerky, don't get a vanity tag for your vehicle that says "LUV2JERK." People will laugh at you.

   The weather over here is terrible. Last night I dreamt it actually stopped raining. I love a good dry dream.