love Funny Status Messages

   Work like you don't have proof of citizenship, Love like you were on a reality TV show, and dance like you were being thrown 100 dollar bills at

   Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything in the house.

   He always has the same expression on his face; “only a mother could love.”

   I'd love to be a lifeguard at the gene pool. I'd let a few of them drown.

   ofcourse I love women and have an undying respect fo 'em. , .they rate way up on my priority list . . right after measles,chicken pox and broken legs

   I LOVE it when people that I don't like friend request me on Facebook, I feel like St. Peter --- DE-NIED! Ü

   today is 4-20! ...like I had to tell you... sit back .relax. and show some love :)

   Drinking, smoking and fatty foods are taking too long to kill me. I had to fall in love again to speed-up the process.

   When gays hack into their gay mate's facebook accounts, do they change the status to, “I'M STRAIGHT AND I LOVE EATING PU$$Y!”?

   I love burritos at four a.m. Parties that never end. I love quarterbacks eating dirt Pom-poms and short skirts And...and twins!"

   I love it when the person's laugh is funnier than the actual joke.

   A guy hears his wife's voice from the kitchen, "What would you like for dinner my love? chicken, beef or lamb?" He said, "Thank you, I'll have chicken." she yells back, "You're having soup you jerk! I was talking to the cat!"

   You've been dating for 2 days - you don't love each other.... Shutup!

   I just love some of the things men say to get us into bed"Baby I'll only put it in for one minute!"What am I?!?!A fricken microwave!?!!!

   I love getting all these "you are soo funny"!" You make me laugh so much!!" Yeah well I can make you moan also status king blah

   Oh, Doctor, doctor, can't you see I'm burning, burning..Oh, Doctor, doctor, is this love I'm feeling? OK.. Thompson Twins I am going to say no if you are taking a piss!

   ˜Sort of" shouldn't be used in certain phrases. Like after "I love you" or "You're going to live" or "It's a boy."

   U love someone and you marry someone else. The one you marry becomes ur wife and the one you love becomes the password of your email

   to all of my FB friends: I love you all and you are fabulous! Except for you #78; you are just an ass. You know who you are so don't even try to fake the funk...

   I love having the power to make you read my status updates for no reason. Who's my b*tch? That's right you are!