Funny Status Messages

   Some idiot posted spoilers and totally ruined my Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Road Chip experience

   Wait... what? Han is now gay and that is why Leai goes on the suicide mission where she dies?

   If I don't catch you sniffing a pair of my panties, are we really even cousins?

   ♪ ♩♩ ♬ On the 12th Day of Christmas my Facebook gave to me, 12 dudes I'm blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, Fiiiiiiiiiiiiive Drama Queeeensssss,

   If you like Star Wars. Your Special. Will you fix my Computer!!!!??

   Am I crazy or a ...?!

   Star Wars is out Bar Scene is dead Thanks a lot Harrison Ford.

   to anyone who spoils the movie, you'll feel my Han...Solo

   You know someone's having a little too much fun at your party , when they mistake your dogs Kong for a buttplug .

   If old french fries were weapons,,, I would be able to kill anyone trying to carjack me

   Do the villains in Scooby-Doo know they have the right to remain silent?

   From the Paris Climate Change Conference: Santa is required to put solar panels in the stockings of naughty kids.

   I have no problem getting S3X...the tough part is deciding which hand to use.

   The thing that disturbs me the most about social media,is when I see a woman from the high school days who didn't age very well, and I think to myself, "Man, I can't believe I zherked off to that."

   Luke Skywalker is barely in the end of the movie and doesn't say a word. it just rolls to the credits.. womp womp

   SPOILER: Ren & Stimpy kill Yoda.

   Everyone picks their nose. It is what you do with it that defines you as a person.

   Han Solo gets killed by his son Kylo Ren.. You're welcome

   A Christmas tree isn't going to be the only thing lit this holiday season

   Not everyone in the front row is a fan. Your biggest hater will disguise themselves as a friend so that they can get closest to you and strike at close range.