Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1465 of 6452

Cocaine so white, it quietly forms a single file line.
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11-29-2015 11:13
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White folks dance like they have an invisible hula hoop around their waist.
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11-29-2015 10:47
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Don't take life laying down. That is, unless you're a prostitute. . .
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11-29-2015 10:12 by JAB
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English: even when they had guns, the still preferred to smash the sh1t out your face in a fair fight.
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11-29-2015 07:41
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Don't worry white folks; the rhythm is never going to get you. You're safe.
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11-29-2015 06:52
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I must have been involved in some filthy debauchery last night, because when I woke up the Jesus statue in my bedroom was facing the wall.
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11-29-2015 05:07 by Czovczov
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my science teacher said living things are made up of cells so why don't we call our lovers our "cell mates"?
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11-29-2015 04:08 by Eddy
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Let's have a ''Bring Your Gun'' on Black Friday and see the diffrence it makes.
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11-28-2015 23:11
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Religion and guns don't kill people, humans do. Get rid of both and you have solved 75% of the problem.
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11-28-2015 23:09
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Good guys with guns are all over the place. because they are to insecure to take matters into their own hands.
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11-28-2015 23:06
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campfire]And that's when he realized... HE FORGOT TO ENABLE WIFI AND WATCHED 5 SEASONS USING HIS DATA PLAN
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11-28-2015 21:40
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You sneeze, and a tiny book titled "A spiders guide to navigating the human brain" shoots out your nose....* You faintly hear a spider cussing.
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11-28-2015 21:34 by snotty
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"When terrorists parents have to use the, "Open wide, here comes the airplane!" technique, do they just smash it in their face and make explosion noises?" No parents want their children to be terrorist.
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11-28-2015 20:59
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I finally stopped believing. Journey is going to be so pissed at me.
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11-28-2015 19:48
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Good guys with guns are all over the place. But you never hear about them because they are not breaking the law.
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11-28-2015 19:40
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So you can get up early to go shopping on Black Friday but you can't get up early on Sunday to go to church.
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11-28-2015 15:19
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Who are you to doubt God? And Santa Claus? And the Easter Bunny? And...
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11-28-2015 14:36
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anyone else gonna run for President or is this all we have?

Freedom comes with wisdom, and no religion wants people to be free.
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11-28-2015 06:40
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.... I was watching th news tonite .... I thought I was watching the violent Black Friday shopping mayhem .... turns out it was just the Black Lives Matter protests .... ....
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11-28-2015 01:53
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