love Funny Status Messages

   Quotations i got ice in my veins, blood in my eyes, hate in my heart, love in my mind

   Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed.

   Take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back

   Sure, I'd love to help you out...now, which way did you come in?

   Whitney Houston may always love you but I will not! Not after you slept with my sister

   I love how I don't have to watch the weather channel, I just sign onto Facebook and check the latest status updates.

   A smile is a sign of joy. A hug is a sign of love. A laugh is a sign of happiness. And a friend like me…Sh*t, that's just a sign of good taste!!

   I LOVE it when people are overly sarcastic. No, really, it's great! Thanks a bunch!

   Husband gets "I Love You" tattooed on his penis. He goes home to show his wife. His wife says "There you go again trying to put words in my mouth"

   Love is best when it overflows freely from the heart, rather than you having to reach in to get your fill.

   Love is like a soccer ball, everybody runs to have that ball, and when they have it they kick it away..

   I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.

   Women are like a pack of cards, you need a heart to love them, a diamond to buy them, a club to kill them and a spade to bury them

   it me or is Tosh.0 the greatest freaking show since Flavor of Love???...

   t is my sincere hope that your day is full of love and that you are a positive influence on the people who look up to you. It is also my sincere hope that Perez Hilton pours kerosone all over himself, down his throat and in his socks & immolates himself

   “Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.”

   I love all of the sexual harassment jokes that everyone says at sexual harassment training.

   Rest in Peace Jimmy Dean. . . Your sausage will never be the same... ( I am not sure I like the sounds of this post after typing it ) Admit it.. You ALL LOVE HIS SAUSAGE!

   With all due of respect, I would love to be able to walk up to you and offer you a big, nice cup of shut the f*** up.

   Don't hold onto anger, hurt or pain. They steal your energy and keep you from love !