Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1414 of 6384
Hold on.. Lemme find a pic of me with my clothes on.
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11-09-2015 00:23
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baby your a$$ is fine but stop bringing your donkey to the club.
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11-08-2015 23:50
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Human beings can be such a$$holes to each other.
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11-08-2015 23:01
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It's not in the way you look or the things that you say that you'll do.....Hold the line, love isn't always on time,
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11-08-2015 21:45
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Last night I turned wine into vomit. Your move, Jesus.
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11-08-2015 16:36
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I have an eating disorder. It called not starving to death. . .
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11-08-2015 09:20 by JAB
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I like sleeping because it's like being dead , without the commitment...
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11-08-2015 08:32
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If Facebook changed "poke" to "stab" I would use it all the time.
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11-07-2015 13:06
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I checked with my doctor, and beer is right for me.
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11-07-2015 13:05
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* changes bedsheets, 14 socks fall out * Hmmm... * apologizes to the dryer *
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11-07-2015 13:05
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A 'Baby On Board' sign, but for your whiny boyfriend.
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11-07-2015 13:04
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I shot off a flare to get rescued from a bad date, and now everyone in this restaurant is mad at me.
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11-07-2015 03:18
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If getting ignored in real life is not enough, try twitter.
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11-07-2015 02:54
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At what age do you get to start falling asleep in every chair you sit in?
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11-07-2015 02:00
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You changed your profile picture and I changed my mind.
If anybody out there is in quarantine right now, can I come over?
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11-07-2015 01:38 by Czovczov
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I'm so ignored here I'm beginning to think all of you are actually cats.
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11-07-2015 01:37 by Czovczov
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I may be her Teddy bear, but remember I'm still a bear .
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11-06-2015 23:48
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.... "There once was a girl from Nantucket" ..... DAMMIT! .... Apparently I'm a terrible Poet ... cuz I can't think of anything that rhymes with Nantucket.
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11-06-2015 23:17
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There's a closet pervert in each and every one of you. . .
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11-06-2015 21:28 by JAB
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