Aaron Funny Status Messages

   If I jumped out a plane and my parcute didn't work I would be so angry.

   I have no problem with you speaking your mind,,, as long as you can do it with your mouth closed.

   80% of people reading this will not find the the mistake in this A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y,Z.

   Life is a fill-in-the-blank choose your own adventure scratch & sniff coloring book with missing pages and pop-ups.

   Picasso emoticon: ' < __ ,

   My transformation into a baby seal is almost complete.

   Opposites attract, that's the trouble with being awesome

   I love the stick figure family's on your car windows they let me know how many garbage bags to bring to the murder.

   If I had a jet pack I would look AWESOME dying within the first 2 minutes of having a jet pack.

   I've never been skydiving,, but I've zoomed in on Google Earth really really fast.

   The brain has around 100 billion neurons in it. Makes you think

   "Always leave them wanting more" is my standard approach to paying bills.

   When Vanna White dies her family will receive a lot of touching letters.

   Listen, calling people names says a lot more about you than it does about them you idiot.

   As students return to campus, remember, college is a fountain of knowledge and students are there to drink.

   This dishwasher sucks. It's already ruined three of my paper plates.

   Every time I get dressed I make sure I take a second to ask myself, "How will this look stepping out of a time machine?"

   deep in the forest theres a metal box that controls most forest settings. toggle birds, set default leaf size, select season, squirrel ratio

   I think my yogurt went bad. I just saw it in the parking lot leaning against a Camaro & smoking a cigarette.

   Facebook is in a relationship with the stock market and it's complicated.