father OR dad Funny Status Messages

   My father taught me a lot of things, however, the most important thing he taught me was how to be a great dad. A close second is how to have a conversation with someone for a half an hour even though you can't remember their name or anything else

   For all of you Dads out there who went out for milk, and actually came back home -- HAPPY FATHER'S DAY......

   Speaking of Fathers Day... The one thing you never wanna hear when your father catches you watching porn is... "Scoot over."

   Nowadays, Father's Day is a good day to thank Dad for not running away from home.

   Father's Day always worries me. I'm afraid I'll get a gift I can't afford.

   To all the women I've dated. If we have a secret love child together that you never told me about, just have them get me a giftcard for Father's Day. Thanks!

   To all those that use our competitors brand...Happy Father's Day From the people of Durex

   seeing all these profile pics of old men in honor of Father's Day is giving me the creeps. My wall looks more like a list of sex offenders..

   In the spirit of Father's Day, my best advice to you: "Keep your "business" in your pants, and always wash your hands".

   one of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of the smartest grandchild in the world.

   My new favorite thing to do is slip a kid $20 while his parents aren't looking and quietly whisper: "This is from your real father."

   “... of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone.” Matthew 24:36..If God has not even revealed to his own son the date the world will end, I doubt he has revealed it to Harold Camping.

   "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father.

   some say that Justin Bieber is the father of Rebecca Blacks baby....but its not true...There is no way 1 girl can impregnate another

   He's really got his father's scalp.

   By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.

   Maury told me "You are Not the father"... That just made my day!

   I met with my new girlfriends father for the first time yesterday. The first thing I said to him was, "Sir, you and me have something in common.." "What's that son?" I replied "Your daughter calls us both Daddy"

   loving him some father son and holy spirit right. I love ya Jesus

   Had Maury Povich been in Star Wars, we would have known who the father was a lot sooner