Mom or Mother Funny Status Messages

   Some mistakes only a mother can love.

   A pregnant Khadarshian is the last thing the world need right now, let alone pregnant by Kanye West. Reminds me of that reproducing mother Alien in he Aliens movie.

   Mother: Clean your room, family is coming over. Me: Oh I'm sorry, I didn't realize the gathering would be held in my bedroom.

   My wife's mother was here for Xmas dinner. My youngest says to me, "Hey Dad! When are you gonna do that trick?!?" "I said, "Do what trick?" He goes, "You know. You said if granny comes for Christmas you'd climb the walls!"

   There are 3 types of females in this world. There are ladies you introduce to your mother, there are women you introduce to your friends and there are girls you show the door to

   I'm taking my family to see the Nutcracker on Saturday. Of course I'm talking about my mother-in-law, not the show.

   My mother always said "if you have nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all." I hope she's happy my mime career has taken off.

   I'm the one your mother warned you about......to never let me be the one that got away.

   Those saying what a great guy Jovan Belcher was seem to overlook he just killed his baby's mother!!

   So a man walks into a bar with a monkey.. I forgot the rest of the joke but your mother's a whòrë.

   I don't care how old I am. If I lose my mother in a super market I'm going to panic.

   When I was a kid I wrote to Santa Clause to "please send me a baby brother",,,,,,Santa wrote back "send me your mother"!

   Honey Boo Boo's mother has a boyfriend. Lets all reflect on my life together.

   Your mother nodding solemnly on Antiques Roadshow as the appraiser explains that the ashtray you made for her in 1st grade is absolute crap...

   Please don't curse and use bad words when you comment on my posts. My mother f*cking family is on Facebook. Thank you.

   The reason it's called Mother Nature is because if it were Father Nature the weather would be a lot more predictable

   Hurrican Sandy is mother natures revenge for Jersey Shore.

   Hurricane Sandy is Mother Nature's way of preventing another MTV Jersey Shore cast from happening. She's had enough!!!

   The Mother Of All storms (Frankenstorm) is heading toward New York City... Trump better get out the hairspray.

   If I'm old enough to be your mother we can't date. Just kidding. Go ask for your allowance and buy me a drink.