Funny Status Messages

   Last night I lost my mood ring....I'm not sure how I feel about that.

   I'm afraid if Trump wins he'll leave us for a younger, prettier country...

   that a bottle of Prozac in your pocket or are you just sad to see me?

   Get laser hair removal they said, the technician won't torch your grundle they said.

   My voting ballot is just an adult coloring book.

   If my grandkids ask how Trump got elected, I'm gonna say that Breaking Bad was so awesome that everyone in America ended up on Meth!

   Well if Donald said it, it must be true. So there you are, no one has done more for equality than he has. MLK could take lessons from Trump.

   If I were to illegally download a film in Jamaica, would I be a Pirate of the Caribbean?

   Donald Trump Claims Ignorance of KKK, David Duke, While Obama Was Essentially Forced to Denounce Farrakhan — Why the Double Standard?

   Hillary and Trump already won. It's already been decided by the Illuminati and the lizard people from the center of the earth.

   "What kind of a sick freak would have a painting of a postman being sodomised by a donkey?"... "That's a Rorschach ink blot test.".... "Ummm, a what?"

   This Crazy lady with Mad Road rage was yelling out her window at me Today.. "I'm gonna make your life a living hell" ...I yelled back, "Thanks but I'm not looking for a relationship right now."

   "Because it would be hilarious,"... is probably not a good reason to elect someone to be president.

   My new wife earned a thunderous round of applause at the reception when she described her wedding vows as "taking one for the team"

   Meanwhile on Facebook someone has made a casserole....

   So far in this election cycle,,, If Aliens ARE watching us,, it's safe to say they think we are retarded.

   We got an extra day this year. Why did it have to be a Monday?

   I'm tired of forced interactions and unnecessary communications, just saying!

   Once upon a time there were three little pigs at a pig roast, end of story. . .

   “Little Marco…” “Trump has an orange spray tan…” Maybe it’s just me, but I personally wish that they would settle things the exact same way that Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton did in 1804.