Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1328 of 6446

If Hillary wins the POTUS, we'll all know what it's like to have a yeast infection because we will be dealing with an irritating c@%t every day.
←Rate |
04-20-2016 08:03
Comments (3)

It's 420 eve, remember to leave out milk and cookies for snoop dogg.
←Rate |
04-19-2016 23:41
Comments (0)

WOW,,,, my nana REALLY can't take a punch anymore
←Rate |
04-19-2016 21:27 by Snotty
Comments (0)

Little Known Fact: The Golden Girls was originally titled Depends on Friends
←Rate |
04-19-2016 20:58 by Snotty
Comments (0)

Cruz chooses Billy Graham as VP, even though he might not be alive.
←Rate |
04-19-2016 20:48
Comments (0)

Due to political correctness issues, "Krazy Glue" will now be known as "Mental Disorder Glue."
←Rate |
04-19-2016 18:01
Comments (0)

If your parachute doesn't deploy don't worry, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
←Rate |
04-19-2016 14:50
Comments (0)

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.
←Rate |
04-19-2016 12:45
Comments (0)

Happy Stoners Eve
←Rate |
04-19-2016 03:06
Comments (0)

Daughter: "Mom, you are in my personal space." Mom: "You came out of my personal space."
←Rate |
04-18-2016 23:59
Comments (0)

And if Hillary wins the election it won't be the first time in history that a criminal moves into public housing vacated by a black family.
←Rate |
04-18-2016 20:50 by MWC
Comments (1)

I make up for the time I've wasted on the Internet by stopping the microwave a few seconds early
←Rate |
04-18-2016 20:34 by Snotty
Comments (0)

[dogs around campfire] *flashlight on face*,,,,,,,,, And when I came back without the ball it was in his hand the whole time
←Rate |
04-18-2016 20:31 by Snotty
Comments (0)

Based on the white smoke pouring out from under the hood of my car, it elected itself as the new pope.
←Rate |
04-18-2016 17:06
Comments (0)

Forgive me if I unfollow you...God only gave me so many brain cells, and I'm not about to lose them over these retarded posts you put on Facebook everyday.
←Rate |
04-18-2016 13:02 by SJW
Comments (0)

The feeling you get when a woman asks you to guess her age is like wondering whether to cut the blue wire or the green wire when defusing a bomb.
←Rate |
04-18-2016 07:46
Comments (0)

If the Pope can take in a couple of lesbos, I should be allowed to too.
←Rate |
04-18-2016 01:11
Comments (0)

If Trump wins the election it'll be the first time in history that a billionaire moved into public housing vacated by a black family.
←Rate |
04-17-2016 21:15
Comments (5)

Fast food workers that want a tip confuse me, if you want a tip, be a server, not a flipper.
←Rate |
04-17-2016 20:20
Comments (0)

[on a date] Me: I own an airplane , racecar, and a yacht... Her: Wow... Me: But not all at the same time,, I haven't got that many Legos
←Rate |
04-17-2016 17:46 by snotty
Comments (1)