Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon ZOOKEEPER: As you all know, one of the penguins has somehow gone missing & we need to find it.. ME: *nervously* it's finders keepers tho,,, right?
←Rate | 04-22-2016 19:11 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Earth Day everyone. Suck it, Mars!
←Rate | 04-22-2016 18:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that there will be a woman on the $20 bill does that mean it will be worth less than the ones with men on them?
←Rate | 04-22-2016 18:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ..... In celebration of Earth Day, I took my dog outside and let her fertilize the ground ...
←Rate | 04-22-2016 18:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon They should put Harriet Tubman on the EBT card instead
←Rate | 04-22-2016 15:52 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Pretending We Know What We Can & Can't Recycle Day!
←Rate | 04-22-2016 13:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It’s the 40th Earth Day, which is bad news for Earth. Once you get in your forties, your equator expands, your poles start to melt — soon you’ll look as bad as Uranus.
←Rate | 04-22-2016 10:49 Comments (1)  


   messageicon In celebration of Earth Day, I went outside and stared at the ground for a little while.
←Rate | 04-22-2016 09:43 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon I learned something from Prince. To aim as high as one possibly can when writing songs. That's why I never made it big. I never aimed high enough. I wrote a song called Little Red Chevette.
←Rate | 04-22-2016 09:02 by Mcfazzerino Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not a good day for one name celebrities. Someone keep an eye on Bono, Madonna & Cher.
←Rate | 04-21-2016 22:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon FYI: if you order a mcflurry 8 days in a row,, that's called a "McTurbo"... and they have to let you see the shed where they keep grimace
←Rate | 04-21-2016 22:30 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon This just in... Kanye West is still alive. Meanwhile we continue to lose really talented artists...
←Rate | 04-21-2016 21:34 by eengrms Comments (0)  


   messageicon *accidentally taxidermies the wrong end of a lion... * "What a catasstrophy!"
←Rate | 04-21-2016 20:10 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon They preemted 'The Price Is Right' with news about Prince dying. Great. Now I'll never know who won the Showcase Showdown...
←Rate | 04-21-2016 19:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Evel Kneivel: Jumps over 45 old school busses... Good Kneivel: Fixes the busses and makes sure every kid gets a good education
←Rate | 04-21-2016 19:28 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon I feel sorry for people that haven't found their true love. My ex is on her 5th.
←Rate | 04-21-2016 19:26 by Snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now he really IS the artist formally known as Prince
←Rate | 04-21-2016 17:54 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please dont let Lifetime tell Prince's story... After what they did to Aliyah and Whitney....
←Rate | 04-21-2016 17:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's the end of his purple reign. R.I.P.Prince.
←Rate | 04-21-2016 17:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Going to Hell on a full scholarship.
←Rate | 04-21-2016 15:33 Comments (0)  




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