Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   It’s the 40th Earth Day, which is bad news for Earth. Once you get in your forties, your equator expands, your poles start to melt — soon you’ll look as bad as Uranus.

   In celebration of Earth Day, I went outside and stared at the ground for a little while.

   I learned something from Prince. To aim as high as one possibly can when writing songs. That's why I never made it big. I never aimed high enough. I wrote a song called Little Red Chevette.

   Not a good day for one name celebrities. Someone keep an eye on Bono, Madonna & Cher.

   FYI: if you order a mcflurry 8 days in a row,, that's called a "McTurbo"... and they have to let you see the shed where they keep grimace

   This just in... Kanye West is still alive. Meanwhile we continue to lose really talented artists...

   *accidentally taxidermies the wrong end of a lion... * "What a catasstrophy!"

   They preemted 'The Price Is Right' with news about Prince dying. Great. Now I'll never know who won the Showcase Showdown...

   Evel Kneivel: Jumps over 45 old school busses... Good Kneivel: Fixes the busses and makes sure every kid gets a good education

   I feel sorry for people that haven't found their true love. My ex is on her 5th.

   Now he really IS the artist formally known as Prince

   Please dont let Lifetime tell Prince's story... After what they did to Aliyah and Whitney....

   It's the end of his purple reign. R.I.P.Prince.

   Going to Hell on a full scholarship.

   One day I will solve all problems with grace & maturity. Today is not that day...

   Seeing purple rain from his Little Red Corvette

   Here's how unreal Prince was: he made Minnesota cool

   I installed some software today and decided to actually read the terms and agreement. 45 minutes later I clicked Agree but still had no idea what I was agreeing to.

   Since tomorrow is Earth Day I have decided to spend the day there and enjoy the celebrations

   RIP: The artist formerly known as Alive.