love Funny Status Messages

   My coworker is making love to her lunch, or at least that's what it sounds like.

   "'Sort of' is such a harmless thing to say. 'Sort of.' It's just a filler. 'Sort of' - it doesn't really mean anything. But after certain things, 'sort of' means everything. Like after 'I love you' or 'You're going to live' or 'It's a boy.'"

   First love is when you meet in the moonlight and you find her lips pressed against yours. Married love is when you meet in the kitchen and she finds your trainers by the sink.

   NOTE TO SELF: Please stop writing yourself notes. Love, Self

   Son: Dad is it ok to love a midget, Dad- depends on if your nuts over her

   If vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat all their food?

   It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up...

   I love Beer. I would marry Beer if I could. ''Do you, Beer, take me to be your awfully wetted wife....until a DUI do us part? I LOVE YOU, BEER!"

   If it's between love and losing And to never have known the feeling, I'd still side with love And if I end up lonely at least I will be there knowing I believe in love

   it's time to break out the kiddie pool and fill it with cranberry sauce.... Time for Bubba and Sis to fight over that turkey leg Springer-style. Gotta love Family Thanksgiving Traditions....

   You cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them until they become afraid and give in.

   love the smell of cap gun smoke in the morning.

   I love you! And that's ok that you don't, because sometimes the beauty is in the attempt

   "I love my cable company! Their customer service and pricing can't be beat! I'm glad I have no other options!" said no one ever.

   ROMANTIC IDEA: Buy a packet of glow in the dark stars and stick the stars on the roof above your bed to spell out a message such as "I Love You" When the lights go down, your message will be revealed!

   I'm a good boyfriend..I always talk to her, play with her, touch her buttons...I definitely turn her on... I love you Xbox.

   Men are like a deck of cards. You need a heart to love them, a diamond to marry them, a club to bash his head in with... and a spade to bury him with.

   I think it is funny as hell. Then again I love my own brand of comedy!!

   Mom always said "If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours.." THANK YOU FRIDAY!!, I Love You, too!!!! I've always loved you. You and I are belong together! This is wonderful! We shall celebrate your return!!

   Life is too short to care about being skinny. I LOVE FOOD. Plus, there's plenty of time to be skinny when I'm dead.:-)