life Funny Status Messages

   Living life through a recession; Got cereal, no milk. Got ham, no bread. Got love but no lover. Got juice but no gin.

   They say it gets easier with time, but I guess when you let someone really special go, you'll spend the rest of your life just missing them.

   Life's cruel when you think it is, life's happy when you feel it is, and life's best when you enjoy it as it is.

   I stick to the script, I memorize the lines Cause life is a movie that I've seen too many times

   They say life is one long and crazy ride. I wanna know how the hell did I get a ticket and can I get a refund!

   In life, success is determined by the amount of sh!t you can take

   I'm at the Bill Murray decides to join the army point of my life.

   Never say “that won't happen to me!”, because life has a funny way of proving us wrong.

   Honestly, I would prefer to look back at my life and say, "I can't believe I did that!" Than instead of saying, "I wish I did that..."

   Love is like your shadow...the more steps you make towards it the further it moves away from you...but yet it follows you around your whole life.

   Life, Karma and Payback walk into a bar. BlTCH NIGHT OUT!

   There are much easier things in life than finding a good man. Nailing Jell-O to a tree, for instance.

   May your life be as awesome as you pretend it is on Facebook.

   Dear Fellow Motorist, When your nosehairs get so long you have a boog flapping in the wind hanging on for dear life that can be seen one lane over, I think it's time to invest in a trimmer. Sincerely, Really Grossed Out

   Football season is a lot like my se(x) life....except for I actually care when football season is coming.

   Are you like me...are there people in your life alive only because you can't afford a good Hitman

   Always be thankful for another day of life because you never know when it's gonna be your last.

   Before sex, you help each other get naked.. After sex, you only dress yourself.. Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once your f*cked!

   Life is full of disappointments, I'll just add you to the list.

   A real woman will not accept expensive gifts from a man she is not prepared to accept into her life.