Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1277 of 6453

Former 3rd world countries are perfect for hipsters. So many abandoned buildings to turn into cafes.
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06-17-2016 14:43
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A girl asked me if I wanted to go back to her place last night. She then proceeded to tell me she lived in a van with four roommates. That's New York City for yah!!!
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06-17-2016 14:41
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A more fitting name for Target would be "How The Heck Did I Spend $233.44?!?!"
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06-17-2016 14:39
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Most historians agree that Marie Antoinette's first menstrual cycle was one of the greatest periods in history.
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06-17-2016 14:37
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A lot of people do not realize thats the actor who played Wilson in Castaway is the same actor from the volleyball scene in Top Gun.
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06-17-2016 14:34
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With so many things coming back in style, I can't wait till loyalty and morals become the new trend again.
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06-17-2016 14:31
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If he wants you to be in his life, he'll put you there. You shouldn't have to fight for a spot on the couch.
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06-17-2016 14:29
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Useful information. Lucky me I discovered your site by accident, and I'm shocked why this coincidence did not happened earlier! I bookmarked it.

I'm provaccine because the thought of having eight children and crossing my fingers that three make it to adulthood is so 1857.
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06-17-2016 14:27
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They are driven to do what they do and no new law will stop them.
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06-17-2016 12:47
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Asked to switch seats on the Plane because I was sitting next to a crying baby. Apparently, thats not allowed if the baby is yours.
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06-17-2016 10:04
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If I ever get a hamster I'm naming it MC Hamster. Heck, I might buy one for that reason alone.
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06-17-2016 08:45
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I was in NYC and a black guy asked me if the Yankees won to which I replied, "Yes. You're a free man now."
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06-17-2016 08:40
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my coffee this morning taste a bit Islamic
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06-17-2016 08:23
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Contrary to popular belief, changing the toilet paper roll does not cause brain damage....
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06-17-2016 06:39
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My minds wanders a lot. Fortunately, it's too weak to go very far.
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06-17-2016 06:31
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In Game of Thrones, how Cersei felt during the walk of shame is how I feel using a CoinStar in front of everyone in the grocery store.
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06-17-2016 05:30
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Strange Jeopardy Categories: Does this look infected to you?
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06-17-2016 00:07
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I love when I can see a grown adult be happier than a kid in a candy store and the candy is shaped like toys!!!
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06-16-2016 23:58
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Taylor Swift reportedly has already dated, broken up with and written a crappy song about Tom Hiddleston.
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06-16-2016 23:52
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