life Funny Status Messages

   “Delete, Block, Ignore” Its too bad getting rid of people in life is not as easy as it is on Facebook..

   Sign Board At Petrol Pump: 'Please Don't Smoke here... V knw Ur Life has No Value but Petrol is Very EXPENSIVE'

   is out making some changes in her life...leave a message and I'll get back yo you. if I don't return your message your one of the changes!

   Sarcasm is not a way of speaking, it is a way of life.

   Charlie Sheen get $25,000,000 settlement to not work? I did something seriously wrong with my life

   sometimes I wish life was like golf...id call MULLIGAN on some moments

   Rumors are the sauce of a dry life.

   Nothing says "I'm a heartless,souless,low life,bottom feeding,inbred,motherf*cking scuz bag" like holding up a protest sign at a funeral.

   Certain people come into your life as a blessing, others as a lesson and a few as a punishment.

   I hate it when some popular girl form high school goes on an on about her life. I'm like woman shut your hole. Your mouth's had more pr*cks in it than a tavern dartboard.

   some people walk into you life and leave footprints on your heart, others make you want to leave footprints on their faces.

   People have got to stop saying "LIFE SUCKS"... because my husband is now saying he wished he had a LIFE!

   Lady in the commercial for the life alert necklace said she fell. Laid there for 8 hours til her friend came. Why didn't the cameraman help her up?

   Some people see a glass as half empty. Some see a glass as half full. Most need to get a life & do something besides stare at glasses.

   My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'

   I was going to type the best status message ever! It was going to be profound, changing, maybe even life altering. But then all of the sudden...I had to poop!

   Lady in the commercial for the life alert necklace said she fell. Laid there for 8 hours til her friend came. MY question, why didn't the cameraman help her up?

   Let us cultivate love and compassion, both of which give life true meaning, just like beer and bacon...

   Wonders why so many people are freaking out as a result of the Facebook changes. This may be a good indicator that what you really need is a life.

   A life worth living shouldn't be wasted on a life spent wanting....