Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon ... Well .... For the safety of all in attendance ... I certainly hope the official Olympic Flame in Brazil will be comprised of a gargantuan industrial sized Citronella candle!
←Rate | 07-18-2016 12:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon We know Black Lives Matter, we're just trying to figure out why
←Rate | 07-18-2016 12:06 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I find it fascinating that the Media always has a hard on to ask Ivanka Trump about how HER father treats women .... BUT for some reason NO media outlet whatsoever ...... NEVER asks Chelsea Clinton that. .... Curious isn't it.
←Rate | 07-18-2016 11:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Written within the Bible there are no "Black" or "White" Churches because the Messiah did not come to save "Skin" .... He came to save Souls.
←Rate | 07-18-2016 11:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it that BLM only protest when a black person is killed by a cop. Why are they not protesting in Chicago where 200 black kids are killed by 200 other black kids every day?
←Rate | 07-18-2016 10:41 Comments (1)  


   messageicon As you Mature... you learn that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them, hope they panic and give in.
←Rate | 07-18-2016 10:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Taylor Swift on an episode of Scooby Doo: “And I would’ve gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling Kardashians!"
←Rate | 07-18-2016 05:55 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon black lives matter on or off this week?
←Rate | 07-18-2016 02:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Watching Donald Trump's interview is like watching someone have a conversation with a sock puppet.
←Rate | 07-18-2016 01:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A new poll says 50% want Trump and 50% want Killary... Me?... I just want a lobotomy..
←Rate | 07-17-2016 22:30 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon The NRA finally said how to tell a good guy with a gun from a bad guy with a gun. It involves pigmentation.
←Rate | 07-17-2016 20:34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'm old enough now to realize the only pork in "Pork and Beans" was an inedible piece of bacon fat
←Rate | 07-17-2016 20:25 by Zipomatic Comments (0)  


   messageicon Done! Just completed my weekend to-do list from 2007.
←Rate | 07-17-2016 14:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone is an atheist until you drop their baby....
←Rate | 07-17-2016 14:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ironically, the new Trump-Pence campaign logo looks like it would be illegal in Indiana.
←Rate | 07-17-2016 14:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think all 3 of my ex girlfriends have sold Herbalife, so yeah, I'm doing really great!!!
←Rate | 07-17-2016 14:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Question: Is military coup an option for the 2016 US presidential election?
←Rate | 07-17-2016 14:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apply NRA Logic To Anything: My best friend's cat would have been alive if he'd been able to defend himself against quantum mechanics.
←Rate | 07-17-2016 14:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kids wonder about too many things for people who haven't been high.
←Rate | 07-17-2016 14:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does chewing on a slipper while having sex count as 'doggy style'?
←Rate | 07-17-2016 14:36 Comments (0)  




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