love Funny Status Messages

   You know you love your wife if you've ever written a hush money check to a porn star on Valentine's day.

   It's hard to be a straight guy these days. I'm all for equal pay and treatment for women but I also love titties...

   Cupid is the perfect symbol for Valentine's Day. Because nothing fills me with love more than a fat baby firing arrows at my butt.

   I'd love to hang out with you, but this nap isn't going to take itself.

   Met a lady yesterday...It was love at first sight...Then I took a second look !!

   Just once in my life I'd love to make just the perfect amount of spaghetti for myself. Anyways, if you're hungry come on over. And bring like five friends.

   I had it all, money, a beautiful house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman, then pow, it was all gone, when my wife found out.

   True love means never having to pick just one hole.

   So I now have 921 friends on my friends list and I just wanted to let you know that you are all awesome people and I love each and everyone of you!!! <3 Except #631

   How do you tell someone you love them without them making it weird that you're under their bed

   I love screwing with the minds of the foreign tech support guys. "My name is Perry, not Terry. With a P as in Pterodactyl."

   Girls love surprises until they get a finger in da butt...

   I love Halloween. You get free candy without having to get into anyone's van.

   What if... what if dogs love us so much because they know we're made of bones.

   I would love to incite a fight after a UB40 concert.

   It's not so much that I love karate as that I hate wooden - planks!

   What if you are an atheist, and you're stuck behind a guy with a "Honk if You Love Jesus" bumper sticker at a traffic light?

   I love Fall.... Unless it's Cold, Damp and Dark. Then I hate Fall.

   I love the fact that "Take Out" means food, dating, and murder.

   Imagine having an IQ low enough to enjoy watching love island.