love Funny Status Messages

   Ladies.. Let no past relationship ruin your love life. Remember: "Love will only fail when you fail to love!" Keep moving!

   Love is much more interesting when you have a DIRTY mind.

   Doing the Jerk....its a dance...To be honest I could jerk it all day...And I dont ever see myself gettin tired doin it...And its a good workout too..I mean my arm is already gettin tired...And I only been jerking for a couple of mins now..I love dancing

   To all the women I've dated. If we have a secret love child together that you never told me about, just have them get me a giftcard for Father's Day. Thanks!

   Love...it takes hostages and shows zero remorse.

   Love is like a rubber band. At first we keep on pulling and pulling. Then when someone let go, it hurts the person who holds on.

   There's 8 letters in I LOVE YOU but there's also 8 letters in BULLSH!T!

   The minute people fall in love they become liars

   I love how my laptopshasta a warning that says You should change your battery or switch to outlet power immediately to keep from losing your work. Lol "work". I wish I got paid to watch porn..

   Hey couples who write on each others Facebook walls, NO ONE cares how much you love each other, so cut it out!

   I don't love with my heart...I love with my imagination.

   What I love best about sex with a married woman is wiping myself off with her husband's clean underwear!

   I love those sayings that have 2 opposite words in them... Exact Estimate - Act Naturally - Small Crowd - Found Missing - Happily Married...

   Love is a thing for two...but there's always a slut who doesn't know how to count.

   Loving someone who doesn't love you back is like hugging a cactus. The tighter you hold on, the more it hurts.

   I love seeing the Australian news cause it's like they're from the future.

   Love is one long sweet dream… and marriage is the alarm clock.

   Twitter makes me love people I've never met and Facebook makes me hate people I know in real life.

   "Lady Thatcher will not be seeing Sarah Palin. That would be belittling for Margaret. Sarah Palin is nuts." I love it!

   Problem is people confuse LOVE with BUSINESS. If you are with her because she gives the best BJs and she is with you because you pay all her bills then thats not a LOVE affair, that's just a BUSINESS arrangement.