Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1148 of 6383
Remember when we willingly bought mustard color clothes?
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07-26-2016 20:16
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Larry David is somewhere sheading a tear that he won't be playing Bernie Sanders for the next 4 years on SNL.
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07-26-2016 20:15
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May I have your attention please. May I have your attention. Will all Bernie supporters form a SINGLE FILE line and follow Chet Lemming to the safe place room. Please move QUIETLY
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07-26-2016 19:25
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Kevin Durant will still hear chants of MVP every night, they just won't be for him...
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07-26-2016 18:08
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Michael Brown's Mother is set to speak at the DNC tonight. Now I wasn't going to watch anymore of this crap, but I don't think that I'll be able to look away from this inevitable train wreck.
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07-26-2016 16:44 by John Y
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TV psychic Ms Cleo had died from cancer, probably never saw it coming.
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07-26-2016 15:05
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Meditation helps me block out distractions and focus on what's important. I recommend it for anyone who wants to step up their napping game.
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07-26-2016 14:32
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When I was your age my Dad got you lost, not Siri.
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07-26-2016 14:31
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When any woman says, "That garbage can is full" she isn't challenging me to fit more in. She means empty the garbage.
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07-26-2016 14:29
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Think fate is telling me to sell my Yahoo! stock.
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07-26-2016 14:28
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Here’s the complete A to Z guide to understanding the enhancements to every new iPhone: It has a better camera.
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07-26-2016 14:27
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Haven't had ice cream or alcohol in two weeks. I'm not sure which is more impressive but I did used to make alcoholic milkshakes.
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07-26-2016 14:16
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"I can see Wikileaks from my house." -Sarah Palin
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07-26-2016 14:11
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More tragic news out of the music industry. Dr Dre, while being detained by police, was being respectful without a weapon and was not shot and killed.
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07-26-2016 13:28
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DNC motto " The tacos and africans are just dumb enough to vote for us"
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07-26-2016 12:43
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DNC motto "Let's Make America Not So Great Again"
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07-26-2016 12:41
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Hmmm, last night it sounded like them Democrats wanted to screw up everything......
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07-26-2016 12:37
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I find it ironic that blacks wont be safe until... you lock up all the blacks....
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07-26-2016 12:15
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Rap battles in Canada consist of two people trying to outdo each other with compliments.
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07-26-2016 02:40
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I'm more like a party canceling planner.
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07-26-2016 02:34
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