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Insomnia improves your math skills. You spend all night calculating how much sleep you'll get if you "fall asleep right now".
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09-16-2016 10:56 by
SEAN
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Which one of the Ten Commandments says: Thou Shalt Not Eat Meat On Friday?
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09-16-2016 09:49 by
Catlicks
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Health becomes the main issue of the presidential election in a country that does not offer it to its citizens. This is...sick.
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09-15-2016 23:51
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Don’t be intimidated by other people’s opinions. Only mediocrity is sure of itself, so take risks and do what you really want to do
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09-15-2016 23:49
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Farmer plows the field. Farmer doesn't even stay for breakfast, stops returning the field's calls.
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09-15-2016 21:05 by
Aaron
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Guess what my doctor said I'm physically fit to become the next president of the United States!
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09-15-2016 16:40 by
Smeebert
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Just hope that one day I'll have an infectious disease named after me.
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09-15-2016 15:54
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BREAKING: Ryan Lochte brutally attacked at gunpoint and forced to dance Foxtrot in front of national TV audience.
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09-15-2016 15:52
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On a scale of newlyweds to married 25 years, how willing are you to admit I'm right?
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09-15-2016 15:50
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Watching married couples argue in Bed Bath & Beyond is my Game of Thrones.
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09-15-2016 15:49
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These medical letters seem pretty legit. Every physical I ever got had the standard line "healthy and fit to serve as president"....
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09-15-2016 15:48
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I hate when I have to fake my own death to get out of a family function.
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09-15-2016 15:47
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I was trying to impress my new boss, but it turns out that "collage" is NOT a fancy way to say "college".
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09-15-2016 15:46
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You haven't killed enough of your exes to give me relationship advice.
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09-15-2016 15:45
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KID IN THE 1800s: I will sweep your chimney if it helps feed my family. KID IN THE 2000s: I’m not eating this apple because it is bruised.
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09-15-2016 15:44
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My toddler keeps jumping from the coffee table to the couch. Does anybody know how to turn off airplane mode?
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09-15-2016 15:43
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Multi-coloured drinks make me dizzy and nervous even before I drink them.
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09-15-2016 15:42
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Hate it when the kids can't find their shoes. It really cuts into our time working together to find mommy's keys...and phone...and shoes.
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09-15-2016 15:41
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You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she organizes body parts in her freezer.
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09-15-2016 15:41
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Does shaking the vending machine count as working out?
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09-15-2016 15:40
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