Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1111 of 6446

Hillary bumped into Trump on the way to the White House and she said "Pardon me"...He Replied, "You want another Pardon?"
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10-21-2016 12:50 by Jitney
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Trump should really try harder to get his message out to the younger generations, especially since one of them will eventually be his fourth wife...
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10-21-2016 11:58 by eengrms
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b votin fo hillary dog. o we gon lose woopie yall
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10-21-2016 09:56
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That moment when you accidently pour too much alcohol into your drink and you have to tough it out because Mama didn't raise a quitter....
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10-21-2016 09:54
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My dream car would be a food truck.
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10-21-2016 09:04
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Hangman is a great tool to teach children that if you can't spell a word, someone could lose their life because of their ignorance

Password security questions allow me to relive all of my childhood traumas. "Who stood you up for Senior Prom and how did your first dog die?"

A buddy of mine is making a documentary about white trash, not sure if it's any good, I've only seen the trailer
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10-21-2016 04:01
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Your significance or importance on this planet must never be determined by another human being other than you.
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10-21-2016 03:51
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Some people are only lovable online and should never be met in real life.
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10-21-2016 03:51
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"My vote is for sale. Anyone want to one up Madonna? I'm taking offers..."
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10-20-2016 22:15 by Smeebert
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Yup ...... The best part of Wednesdays Presidential Debate was watching Hillary Clinton constantly looking down to read her illegal teleprompter built into her lectern.
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10-20-2016 17:49
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Donald Trump wants to keep us in suspense about the survival of our democracy and orderly change of government.... I can't wait!
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10-20-2016 17:40 by snotty
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It's not the people who vote that counts, it's the people who count the votes!
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10-20-2016 16:59
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Broke me would like to thank the rich me that had the foresight to stock enough beer that I am now drinking.
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10-20-2016 12:55
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"America Online founder Steve Case actually endorsed Hillary Clinton for president. However, I Bet the last thing Hillary Clinton wants to hear right now is ........ "You've got mail."
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10-20-2016 12:41
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The US Treasury is already talking about putting Hillary's face on the American $20 bill. Question: Wouldn't it be much more fitting that her likeness be put on the $3 Bill?
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10-20-2016 12:37
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FACT CHECK: Hillary Said 90% of Clinton Foundation Donations go to Charity. Actual Number? ONLY 5.7% goes towards actually helping people.
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10-20-2016 10:54
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People are so concerned about having to wait to see if Trump will want a recount, but are completely forgetting Bernie's and Gore's recounts. Hillary even started the Obama "birther" movement to end his legitimacy. #hypocrites

To anyone moving to Canada when Trump is elected President. Can I have first dibs on what you're not taking with you, thanks. . .
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10-20-2016 08:52 by JAB
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