Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   No matter who wins, they will likely be impeached and their vice president will take over

   Well, it's that day that we act like our vote matters.

   well, who ya voting for, donald trump or isis' supreme leader?

   ☐ Clinton ☐ Trump ☑ Vodka

   Don't forget to set your country back 50 years today!!

   Let the comedy circus begin..........American elections!

   I'm excited for this season's finale of America

   Who needs television when there is so much drama election on Facebook.

   Wednesday I will have 50% less friends on Facebook.. let's see who makes the cut

   Question: "How many clowns does it take to elect a crappy President?" Answer: "We'll Find out on Tuesday!!!!"

   I can't believe so many Americans from the Bible Belt plan to vote for Trump. If he gets to build his wall, he'll be keeping Jesus out of the country.

   I've only drank once since I quit drinking an hour ago

   Polls are good for three things, skiing, fishing and strippers.

   With this election it is easier to scream at the enemy than it is to own your embarrassment

   voting this year is like picking out what STD do you want!!!!!!! you know is going to burn!

   This year, they should give out Xanax with the 'I voted' sticker.

   R.I.P. Janet Reno. But at least she'll still be voting for Hillary.

   If Hillary wins, all public government announcements will begin with: Ladies, Gentlemen and Trannies....

   No, she is a good woman. However, I don't agree with everything Hillary Clinton stands for or everything she says. Not everything... Not me personally no. -Janet Reno

   NASA reports surging applications for astronaut training programs proves trending interest in space exploration. That or maybe more interest in leaving the planet after this lame election...