Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I have come to the sad conclusion that Common Sense is a lot like a Deodorant! ... Yup ... The people who need it the most .... Never Use It.

   Never underestimate the power of Stupid People in large groups.

   We've been conditioned to think that only politicians can solve our problems. At some point, perhaps one day we will actually wake up and recognize that that it was those politicians who actually created our problems in the first place.

   I just microwaved a Hot Pocket all the way through on the 1st try,,, So I'm basically a chef at Applebee's now if anyone needs anything.

   It was refreshing to see FB lit up with pics of your Halloween celebrations. Now it's back to your political rambling BS. Not to mention the soon to flood my timeline with your holiday BS.

   People who think they can run away from their problems have obviously never farted on a treadmill.

   Taco Bell is doing a promotion where if a player steals a base in the World Series,,, everyone in America would get a free Doritos Locos Taco.. Which is a great way for both players and fans to have lots of runs.

   American media be like: "This just in... Russia dumps a load of manure at DNC Headquarters"

   Me on a first date: How many FBI investigations does it take for people to realize she's a SCUMBAG. Her: . . .

   can we all agree if you're old enough to get a job and buy candy, you can't trick or treat anymore?

   One candidate won't release their tax returns, received campaign donations from Russia, facing cases for rape and fraud, bragged by sexual assault. The other is scrutinized by their emails...

   not a single treat or treater walked behind my building and up 38 steps to my apartment....oh well, I guess that's 6 more cans of cream of mushroom soup for me!

   When it's late and I can't sleep,,, I curl up with a good book and bang it on my head until I'm unconscious.

   I won't be celebrating Halloween today. You know... where you dress up, pretend to be someone you're not, sing creepy songs about drinking blood, and invite a Spirit to meet you in the haunted house. Sounds too much like church to me.

   don't forget, I'm also just a girl; dressed upas a slutty nurse; standing in front of a boy; dressed up as Donald Trump; asking him to finger bang her in the alley before she sobers up.

   Just in. Anthony Weiner sends apology sext to entire Clinton campaign.

   I'll be dressed up tonight as a dad who sends his kids house to house to beg for handouts while eating their candy in the street like a hobo zombie.

   Election 2016. The real American Horror Story.....

   going to laugh so hard at all the Hillary haters sucking on it on Nov. 9th. Open wide, and insert Anthony Weiner.

   I'll be glad when this election is over so I can stop making posts that put me on Hillary's hit-list.