Goodeolboy Funny Status Messages

   Wow, just drove by the gas station and the guy changing prices has a chair camping out...no good can come of this!!

   Dear Employer, I have worked insane amounts of hours for you; shed blood; even went through a divorce because of you. Is it too much to ask for some decent toilet paper up in here?

   Today's lunch: Redman and Dr. Pepper..slimy yet satisfying.

   On this day thirty years ago.. Mtv still played music videos.

   Wish life could be simple like the good ol' days. Like page 756!

   How many men does it take to open a beer? None...it should be open when she brings it to ya.

   will not discriminate against the following: race, religion, sex, or creed. However UGLY... I have to draw the line somewhere!

   Did a law pass that I don't know about which requires all minivans to go 15mph under the posted speed limit on AM freeways?

   The only phrase I remember growing up was, "Don't put your hands back there!".

   I'll baffle them with brilliance, then I'll let you talk.

   Cause nobody says, "Slow down, theres a security gaurd!"

   as of today I will no longer use "lol" after my comments or posts...I will now use "snicker".

   "That Wonka is a liar!", exclaimed by my six year old son when he realized his Everlasting Gobstopper was getting smaller and changing color.

   Teacher: Imagine you're in a world with dinosaurs and a dinosaur was going to eat you. What would you do? Boy: Easy, stop imagining.

   "Back in my day we never went to school, the Indians taught us!"

   What do you call a rooster with erectile dysfunction? Boneless chicken

   Possible slogan for inferior Tampon Co. "We're not number one, but we're still up there!".

   R.I.P. To my seamonkey Oscar~10-20-84 to 10-26-84. You are missed!

   You know if you roll down fast and steady enough, it gives the illusion of electric windows.

   i'd run away from home, but my Mom wont let me cross the street.