love Funny Status Messages

   I took a sh!t this morning. TMI? Yeah well I don't want to read about how in love you are with your boyfriend of the week either.

   Be motivated by the hate you receive and encouraged by the love you receive.

   Mathematics may not teach us how to add love or how to minus hate. But it gives us every reason to hope that "every problem has a solution.

   I taught her how to love, she taught me how to hate.

   Just saying I love Google. It gives me everything I need, except head.

   They call them "pizza rolls" because"pizza love handles" was too wordy.

   Love isn't a decision, it's a feeling. It doesn't come with rules and regulations or terms and conditions. It just happens.

   Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. Fear is awful, face it. Memories are sweet, cherish them.

   Just spent some time manscaping. Planning to donate to 'Locks for Love'.

   Every morning I long to hold you, I need you, I want you, I love your warmth... your smell, your taste... Ohhh coffee I love you. Good Morning!

   My wife was in the bathroom for hours getting dressed to go out when finally she swung open the door and asked "tell me honestly, do I look fat in this?". I replied "yes love, but to be fair, its a small bathroom"

   To do list for the day: Hate self, love self, hate self, love self. Lunch. Hate self.

   I love Fig Newtons. Yes, You might say i'm a "FIGGIT".

   'like' this and you'll love whats coming up next ;o)

   During sex, anyone can say I love you, but only a few are going to stay and prove it.

   My mom thinks LOL stands for "lots of love" and texted me "Your Grandma just died. LOL." :)

   I love Halloween. You get free candy without having to get into anyone's van.

   If I was a ghost on "Ghost Whisperer" the first thing I would ask Jennifer Love Hewitt is "are those real?".

   Falling in love is like falling down when you drunk or high...u dont feel the pain until the magical effect is gone..

   Loving someone who does not love you back is like waiting for a ship at the airport.