Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I was part of the 30million women march. In November, we marching into voting booths across the country and elected Donald J. Trump as President of the United States of America. for
←Rate | 01-22-2017 06:31 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Awkward moment when you just wanted a sugar daddy but becomes the First Lady of America!
←Rate | 01-22-2017 03:58 by Remy Comments (0)  


   messageicon First day on the job and Trump is already focusing on the real issues, like argue with the media about how many people attended his inauguration.
←Rate | 01-22-2017 02:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon C'mon everybody. Ease up on Donald Trump. After all, we now finally have a First Family I can masturbate to.
←Rate | 01-22-2017 01:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump got more fat women to take a walk in one day than Michell Obama did in 8 years
←Rate | 01-21-2017 23:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hi Honey, Can you pick up a six pack of bud, and a taco Bill on your way back from the March....ry
←Rate | 01-21-2017 23:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It just occurred to me that Trump got more fat women out walking in one day than Michelle Obama did in eight years.
←Rate | 01-21-2017 21:33 by GlimmerTriplet Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why does everybody call it a "hot water heater?" It's really a cold water heater.
←Rate | 01-21-2017 21:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Let's have a march to show our hate and give speeches about love!" Women
←Rate | 01-21-2017 18:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you love someone, set them free. If they come back with the police then setting them free was probably a bad idea.
←Rate | 01-21-2017 16:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trump is already working wonders, all these people marching = Exercise and aiding weight loss. = Positive
←Rate | 01-21-2017 16:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shout out to all the brave men that had to make their own sandwich for lunch today.
←Rate | 01-21-2017 16:01 by SPPRCLB Comments (0)  


   messageicon A lot of sandwiches are not being made today
←Rate | 01-21-2017 15:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon what? Donald Trump is the president??? (people without internet)
←Rate | 01-21-2017 12:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 'Half the world is made up of people with something to say but can't & the other half is made up of people with nothing to say but keep on saying it anyway.'
←Rate | 01-21-2017 11:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw a hot mom at McDonalds spank her kid after he threw his fries on the ground, so I threw my fries on the ground too.
←Rate | 01-21-2017 11:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If they can't afford an extra $500 a year or $41 a month they shouldn't be buying a house. I guess another bailout like in 2013 of the FHA is more preferable. Taxpayers dont want to buy you another house which you will most likely default on.
←Rate | 01-21-2017 10:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Q: Why does a dog lick himself? A: Because he can? .... No, because he can't make a fist.
←Rate | 01-21-2017 10:06 by BBB Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is nothing worse than watching the new guy at Subway make your sandwich.
←Rate | 01-21-2017 09:04 by MrZ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my spleen on my pant leg. And my liver adds a certain flair to my belt.
←Rate | 01-21-2017 07:05 by huck Comments (0)  




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