Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   There's much better things in life than alcohol but alcohol compensates for not getting them.

   Inauguration Day 2017 Gas $2.29 Dow 19,819 NASDAQ 5560.7 Unemployment 4.7% Posting this so it will come up in my memories in 2020.

   Ok ladies, you've had your protest in Washington DC, enough, now get back to work, cleaning and cooking.

   Hell hath no fury like a woman who didn't get an answer to the question you didn't hear her ask from upstairs

   It's not the hundreds of thousands of women that marched yesterday that impresses me... It's the hundreds of thousands of men at home, by themselves, who had to go without sandwiches the whole time... They're the real heroes!

   The real women's march takes place in New England when the Patriots take the field.

   Air Force One is a major downgrade for Trump! Will he stanhd for it?

   Trump hasn't tweeted the Launch Codes yet...So, far so good!

   Republicans can now use their Trump (made in China) ties to hide their erections for the next four years!

   Trump: all these women outside Aide: Sir? Trump: I have my scores ready. When is the swimsuit competition?

   Judging people by their race and sex is wrong. I wish you priveledged white men would get that!

   Womens March was the largest gathering of people with disabilities in US history.

   I was part of the 30million women march. In November, we marching into voting booths across the country and elected Donald J. Trump as President of the United States of America. for

   Awkward moment when you just wanted a sugar daddy but becomes the First Lady of America!

   First day on the job and Trump is already focusing on the real issues, like argue with the media about how many people attended his inauguration.

   C'mon everybody. Ease up on Donald Trump. After all, we now finally have a First Family I can masturbate to.

   Trump got more fat women to take a walk in one day than Michell Obama did in 8 years

   Hi Honey, Can you pick up a six pack of bud, and a taco Bill on your way back from the March....ry

   It just occurred to me that Trump got more fat women out walking in one day than Michelle Obama did in eight years.

   Why does everybody call it a "hot water heater?" It's really a cold water heater.