Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1030 of 6446

Remember when 'sex,drugs & rocknroll meant something other than 'sundays, anti-depressants & turn it down?'
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02-01-2017 10:24
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We have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart?
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02-01-2017 10:15 by Mister E
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How do you piss off a Trump hater? Remind them that only two presidents in history were ever impeached and neither got kicked out of office because of it.
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02-01-2017 09:00
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I hope Mexico doesn't raise the cost of Tequila to pay for this wall.
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02-01-2017 07:19 by Mikey c
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Sometimes I talked to myself because I need expert advice.
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02-01-2017 00:07
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If you really hate Trump, vote in four years otherwise shut up for now.....
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01-31-2017 22:58
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Try this yourself. If you take two fingers and push your cat's ears down he will look just like Yoda.
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01-31-2017 18:50
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What does "prices too low to advertise" mean? Are they afraid if they advertise the price that too many people will want to buy it?
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01-31-2017 17:50
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You can eat pizza every single day & still lose weight....Alternative fact.
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01-31-2017 14:54
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If you want to get a bead on how cuckoo women are, just look at your fb newsfeed.

Majority of guys mocking the women march are 30-year old virgins who still live in their mum's basement. Most of them will be m asturbating on Valentine's Day and have never seen a live v agina in their pathetic lives.
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01-31-2017 10:46
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I wish people would stop saying the husbands of the women who marched didn't get a sandwich that day. Have you seen those women? No way any of them have a husband.
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01-31-2017 09:59 by Mickey
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I went out clubbing lat night. I got 12 baby seals; a new personal record.
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01-31-2017 09:52
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NY and California have he highest number of inbred marriages and incest. So I would say ALOT.
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01-31-2017 09:30
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What do President Trump and Tony the Tiger have in common? They're both orange and make things GREEAAT!
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01-31-2017 07:57 by Mickey
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Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor
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01-31-2017 07:39 by Mikey c
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Trump has chosen Mickey pence as his vice-president. Did anyone in their wildest dreams even imagine that Donald and Mickey would run America one day!? Walt Disney would be proud of this!
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01-31-2017 05:24
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Too F#CKED up how much of the population has been dumb down to march for rights you already have ! ! !
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01-31-2017 05:23 by JAB
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people with children should be allowed to do things while hiding from their children because children are mini terrorists.
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01-31-2017 00:41
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I'm writing this post from the Emergency Room, nothing to worry about. Just turns out my new Dyson Ball Cleaner isn't what I thought it was.
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01-30-2017 22:59
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