Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Just wondering if you put healing crystals in a sock and beat someone with it do they cancel each other out?

   Now I know where the YouTube commenters hang out when they're waiting for the new Nickelback video debut.

   Don't blame me, I voted for Calvin Coolidge.

   These people don't even know what a "Temporary" refugee means. Temporary, Temporary, Temporary. Say it with me.

   White Americans killing off other Americans is a psychological issue, not an ideological one.

   I like sleeping because it is kind of like being dead but without the commitment.

   But the Atlanta Falcons won the popular vote! How could this happen?! #NOTMYSUPERBOWL

   It was nice to see Rose from the Titanic do the coin toss..

   Polling showed 27% of the USA bet on Atlanta to win. Must've been conducted by CNN.

   Would you still eat from a bowl of jellybeans if you knew one out of a hundred will kill you? Same applies to refugees…

   No .... Not all Refugees are terrorist ..... However, Since the bad guys have already told us and sworn they have infiltrated the refugees .... The job is to find out which ones they are. It's Better to err on the side of Caution.

   CNN Breaking News: Falcons Playbook was Hacked by Russia!!!!

   So Mexico just announced that they will build a latter.

   Honestly, my biggest fear about becoming a zombie in the apocalypse is all the walking.

   Hey Dems, send Jill Stein your money. She's doing a recount of the Super Bowl.

   Okay you refugees, idiots aren't terrorist. By definition, they are running away from the idiots. Why are you too stupid to realize this???????

   Atlanta won the popular vote

   I haven't seen a lead blown that great since Hillary's 2016 campaign

   The Falcons won the popular Vote!

   ..... The only thing deflated at this year's Superb owl was the Falcons.