Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I wonder how long buffoons like Spicer and Kellyanne would last on the Apprentice?
←Rate | 02-10-2017 09:53 Comments (1)  


   messageicon At our family weddings, we always watch our senile old grandpa to see what dumb thing he will do next. Now Trump fills that role for the whole country.
←Rate | 02-10-2017 09:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think Oprah Winfrey should marry Deepak Chopra and take his last name.
←Rate | 02-10-2017 06:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Are the dangerous parts of Italy called the Spaghetto?
←Rate | 02-10-2017 00:17 by Cicci Comments (0)  


   messageicon NEWS UPDATE: Donald J. Trump has dropped Mexico, China and Iran from his enemies list and added the 9th Circuit Court and Nordstrom.
←Rate | 02-09-2017 23:31 by XX-FOXY Comments (0)  


   messageicon Still waiting for Activision to come out with "Call of Duty" for Atari 2600
←Rate | 02-09-2017 21:31 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon You want to know why Trump is so pissed off? Its because the whitehouse smells like coconuts and piss.
←Rate | 02-09-2017 21:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lady GaGa is performing with Metallica at the Grammys. Sounds like its gonna be an hour of Trump bashing and a couple crappy songs I downloaded on napster 15 years ago.
←Rate | 02-09-2017 21:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was on the shopping network. corrections FoxNews. When did the WhiteHouse becomes QVC?
←Rate | 02-09-2017 16:30 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Every time I'm about to win an argument with my wife someone wakes me up.
←Rate | 02-09-2017 15:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a kid, I told my parents I was going to make something of myself. I think they are getting impatient.
←Rate | 02-09-2017 15:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Of all the advice given to me over the years, “There really is no bad time for a beer” has proved to be the most helpful. Thanks ma.
←Rate | 02-09-2017 14:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Drinking coffee in the afternoon is like eating the mushroom that makes you big in Super Mario.
←Rate | 02-09-2017 14:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I found a way to lower my bills - I quit paying them.
←Rate | 02-09-2017 14:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon uh excuse me, I'm just here looking for the Democratic Restroom.
←Rate | 02-09-2017 14:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm telling you, Godzilla must have feet made of steel. I step on a Lego and can't walk for a month.
←Rate | 02-09-2017 14:37 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon 'Wait, let me overthink that.' Women
←Rate | 02-09-2017 14:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
←Rate | 02-09-2017 11:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone want to see a politician's tax returns. I'd rather see their IQ tests.
←Rate | 02-09-2017 11:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Activision, how about you come out with Call of Duty - Black Ops STOP! Sincerely, Everyone.
←Rate | 02-09-2017 11:22 by Charles Comments (0)  




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