Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1021 of 6446

I wonder how long buffoons like Spicer and Kellyanne would last on the Apprentice?
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02-10-2017 09:53
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At our family weddings, we always watch our senile old grandpa to see what dumb thing he will do next. Now Trump fills that role for the whole country.
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02-10-2017 09:51
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I think Oprah Winfrey should marry Deepak Chopra and take his last name.
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02-10-2017 06:58
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Are the dangerous parts of Italy called the Spaghetto?
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02-10-2017 00:17 by Cicci
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NEWS UPDATE: Donald J. Trump has dropped Mexico, China and Iran from his enemies list and added the 9th Circuit Court and Nordstrom.
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02-09-2017 23:31 by XX-FOXY
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Still waiting for Activision to come out with "Call of Duty" for Atari 2600
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02-09-2017 21:31 by JCGJ
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You want to know why Trump is so pissed off? Its because the whitehouse smells like coconuts and piss.
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02-09-2017 21:31
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Lady GaGa is performing with Metallica at the Grammys. Sounds like its gonna be an hour of Trump bashing and a couple crappy songs I downloaded on napster 15 years ago.
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02-09-2017 21:29
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I was on the shopping network. corrections FoxNews. When did the WhiteHouse becomes QVC?
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02-09-2017 16:30
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Every time I'm about to win an argument with my wife someone wakes me up.
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02-09-2017 15:24
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When I was a kid, I told my parents I was going to make something of myself. I think they are getting impatient.
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02-09-2017 15:22
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Of all the advice given to me over the years, “There really is no bad time for a beer” has proved to be the most helpful. Thanks ma.
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02-09-2017 14:54
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Drinking coffee in the afternoon is like eating the mushroom that makes you big in Super Mario.
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02-09-2017 14:49
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I found a way to lower my bills - I quit paying them.
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02-09-2017 14:46
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uh excuse me, I'm just here looking for the Democratic Restroom.
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02-09-2017 14:42
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I'm telling you, Godzilla must have feet made of steel. I step on a Lego and can't walk for a month.
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02-09-2017 14:37 by Mickey
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'Wait, let me overthink that.' Women
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02-09-2017 14:06
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My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
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02-09-2017 11:29
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Everyone want to see a politician's tax returns. I'd rather see their IQ tests.
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02-09-2017 11:23
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Dear Activision, how about you come out with Call of Duty - Black Ops STOP! Sincerely, Everyone.
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02-09-2017 11:22 by Charles
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