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Your kid is running around the store screaming at the top of his lungs annoying everyone and I'm the bad guy for tripping him?
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03-05-2017 14:19 by
Mick
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I may be crazy, but I'm not, "Of course I'd lease an office in the new One World Trade Center" crazy.
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03-05-2017 12:39 by
Mick
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Every knows a person that acts like a loser even when they win. Well
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03-05-2017 10:03
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Tarantulas make great pets because when they die, rather than grieving you'll feel an almost overwhelming sense of relief.
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03-04-2017 22:07 by
Aaron
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Trump just blame Obama for wire-tapping his phone. My phone just got tapped too, I blame Trump.
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03-04-2017 20:42
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My wife left me because I'm too insecure. No wait, she's back. She just went to make a cup of coffee.
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03-04-2017 18:55
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if I die while I'm in an elevator I hope its while I'm going up not down
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03-04-2017 16:11
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The guy I’ve been paying to pick up sh*t in my backyard just realized that I don’t own a dog .
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03-04-2017 15:44
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I have nothing in common with people who replace bread ties.
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03-04-2017 07:51 by
huck
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March 4th, the only day of the year that actually tells you to go do something.
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03-04-2017 07:43
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Negative People irks my nerves.. worry about yourself... maybe you're not getting promoted cuz you so negative!!!!
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03-04-2017 00:33
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From now on I will only accept apologies in cash......
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03-04-2017 00:33 by
jitney
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I just saw a man at the beach yelling ”help shark help” I just laughed I know that shark wasn't going to help him...
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03-04-2017 00:33 by
jitney
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I was going to moving to Russia if Hillary won the election. . .
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03-03-2017 23:47 by
JAB
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Fitbits are just like Tamagotchis, except the stupid little creature you have to keep alive is yourself.
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03-03-2017 19:38 by
barber
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The secret of our marriage is chemistry. She's on Valium and I'm on Prozac.
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03-03-2017 18:52 by
Dale Burke
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Chicks with nice b( . )( . )bs always seem to say the right things.
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03-03-2017 12:27
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Can you imagine the outrage if Obama had refused to share his taxes with the people?
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03-03-2017 12:20
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Just remember when you vote that they care more about party than country.
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03-03-2017 12:19
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Relax America. The Russians have now confirmed there was nothing going on between them and the White House. What more do you need?
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03-03-2017 10:54
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