tracy Funny Status Messages

   "the ""she"" in ""that's what she said""! "

   Finally got around to deleting my Twitter account today. It could be that I just paraniod, but I swear somebody was following me...

   SURGEON GENERAL WARNING: The amount of Alcohol consumed can directly increase the amount of facebook activity.

   A recent study conducted by UCLA just discovered that doing just about anything increases your risk of death.

   A recent 100 million dollar study conducted by Harvard University just discovered that running out of money may be the main cause for Bankruptcy.

   if a man says to a woman,"Girl, you better go in the kitchen and bring me a sandwich," Do you know what a good comeback for that ladies? You better "comeback" with a God damn sandwich.

   Yes, "facebooking" IS an action verb. Along with googling, tweeting and farmvillin'.

   As Americans we should fight like hell for the right to draw a picture of Muhammad, but then choose not to.

   Sorry, quoting bible scriptures to me isnt going to convince me. I could quote "Stars Wars" or "Twilight" and it would be just as profound.

   Great ideas often receive violent opposition from mediocre minds

   It's pretty hot today, but I'll take the heat over the cold any time. Heat = slight sweaty discomfort; drink cold water as needed. Cold = Physical pain of the extremities; sit in a hot tub and dont get out until spring .

   A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.

   making love to your pregnant wife is like putting gas in a car you've already wrecked.

   BREAKING NEWS: U.S. Kills Al-Qaeda's Number 3 for Nine Thousandth Time

   Former President Bush suggested invading the "Gulf of Mexico" to control the BP oil spill. He also proposed forming a mercenary force made up of BP executives and oil rig operators called "The Coalition of the Spillin'

   Grilled by the media contantly in recent weeks, authorities have stated that they had been following failed "Times Square Bomber" Faisal Shahzad for months, but only on Twitter.

   You are so pathetic that Tom wont even be friends with you on myspace.

   Finds that the best place to pick up women is at the Immigration Office.

   Thinks they should have Extreme Bejeweled Blitz Tournaments on the OCHO

   so awesome, that when I go swimming, dolphins appear.