Zack Funny Status Messages

   Hey, whats a four letter term used to call a woman ending in "unt"?......the answer is "Aunt"

   In soviet Russia, bacon loves you.

   Happy 90210

   Every time you lick a 9 volt, battery, you lick every person that's licked that 9 volt battery.

   If zombie's were dyslexic everyone named Brian would be in trouble

   A man walks into a bar. He says to the bartender..... "Ow".

   When love is not madness... it is not love.

   Drown in your blood or live in your sht

   I wonder if everybody is still Kung Fu fightng.

   Dear chicken, please cook yourself and jump into my mouth. thank you

   Holy Wars are just arguments about who has a better imaginary friend.

   Friends touching each other inappropriately makes me a sad panda

   With great power comes a great electric bill.

   ‎(_8(l) - D'oh!

   stuck in traffic. Send bacon.

   |\\//\\//\\//\\| <-- <y best attempt at creating a piece of virtual bacon for you

   thinking...we would all be naked right now if it wasn't for that darn apple!

   Michael Jackson gets to go to heaven because he was doing things the priest were doing.

   ┌П┐(◕‿◕) ┌П┐

   To the Gentlemen, I'm Miss Fortune. To the Ladies, I'm Sir Prize.