SEDDY90 Funny Status Messages

   Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything.

   "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."

     You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy,the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese,

   If you can make a girl laugh - you can make her do anything.

   I want to start a women's magazine called "Period". And some months I'll send it out late just to freak out my subscribers.

   Halloween is coming ... and you know what that means. An excuse for every girl to dress slutty and get away with it.

   You ever hear stories of people you have never seen before and you create an image of what they look like and when you finally see them you kind of get disappointed or weirded out that they don't look like what you imagined?

   When a relationship goes flat, so does a couple of sets of car tires.

   I met a woman last night who said she would take me to heaven for $50. Damn these religious fanatics and their annoying fund-raising scams

   Relationships are like drugs, they either kill you, or give you the best feeling of your life.

   You're 10 years old and have a laptop, iPod and BlackBerry. Dude when I was 10 I had pokemon cards.

   Super Mario Been Encouraging Men To take Stuff to get Bigger Since the 80's

   We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up like Batman & The Joker.

   S(he) (is) Br(ok)en.

   She would rather have a best friend for a lifetime, then a boyfriend for a week...

   "Babe is it in?" "Yeah" "Is it hurting?" "Uh-huuh" "Let me put it in slowly" "It still hurts!" "Ok let's try another shoe size"

   If 2012 does begin to happen we'll just have Kanye interrupt it.

   Yes Mom, I can watch TV and be on the computer.

   That mini-heart attack when you miss one step at the stairs.

   That awkward moment when someone sits in your seat