Joe Funny Status Messages

   brought to you by the letters W T F.

   Look at the evil people in the world, Saddam Hussein, Hitler, Stalin what do they all have in common? Mustaches

   I've heard Drug Addiction, Smoke Addiction, Alcohol Addiction, Gamble Addiction... but TECHNOLOGY Addiction, now that's new!

   wondering why American sports use terms like "world series" when no other countries play.

   Build a man a fire he's warm for a day, set him on fire and he's warm the rest of his life.

   today, when I asked my dad why wedding dresses are white, he replied; "son, all household appliances come in white".

   come to the conclusion, that boxer briefs are like a bra for my balls

   a Japanese Atheist. He doesn't believe in Godzilla.

   treat everything like a dog would. If you can't eat it or hump it, piss on it and walk away.

   , "so let me get this straight. Sex and the City is about three hookers and their mom?".

   statistics show that 1 out of 20 of us live next door to a conivcted pedophile, not me though, I live next to two stunning 16 year olds.

   Why is Germany sitting out the no-fly Zone? Uh, history of losing in N. Africa?

   Breaking: French warplanes engaging Libyan air force. Related: France surrenders to Libya.

   "an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, nestled in a sesame seed bun of mystery."

   Women, you can't live with them, and they can't pee standing up!!!

   Its a stank fishy smell in the air...the prostitutes must be overheating

   ‎1 in 5 people in the world is Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or my dad. Or my older brother George. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's George.

   Sometimes I like to send a text un purpose to the wrong person to see their reaction

   seems to care less about trees when I'm drying my hands in a public bathroom.

   alone with the kids for the weekend. I have 18 hours of Pixar movies and a squirt gun full of high-fructose corn syrup. Should be fine.