love Funny Status Messages

   Don't make love by the garden gate....love is blind, but the neighbors ain't.

   I shot my girlfriend with a cupid's arrow thinking that she would fall more in love with me, but now she's just laying there on the ground ignoring me.

   The best part of Valentine"s day is no more Vermont teddy bear BIG HUNKA LOVE BEAR commercials.

   Happy Mushy Card Nasty Candy in a Heart Shaped Box Big Balloon That Barely Fits in Your Car And You Can't See to Back Up $75 Roses That Can be Bought Tomorrow for $20 but Must be Sent to "Prove" Your Love Stand In Line for Two Hours to Eat Day.

   Thank you, flowers, for being the perfect way to say, "My love for you is beautiful but will die very soon."

   For those of you who can't be with the one you love because she doesn't understand that you're destined to be together, Happy Restraining Order Day!

   Never text your wife and your gal pal at the same time...one misplaced "love you" can confuse everything

   Does God love poor people more than rich people? to put it differently, Does God love lazy ass bums more than hardworking folks?

   I don't mean to be a stereotype, but like most women, I love shoplifting.

   Love and appreciate the effort, but we have to try harder,,, we are funnier than this.

   Of all the people I don't love, I don't love you the most.

   I love make up sex. Especially with Katy Perry. I make up sex with her all the time.

   I can already tell by the way your son throws a baseball that he is going to love baseball. ................players.

   You know it's true love when you ask her what she is thinking about and she says "SEX" and you reply "Me too".

   I love a good political joke. Unless it gets elected president...

   Tips on falling in love: Don't

   Oww a dorito just stabbed the roof of my mouth...how could something I love so much hurt me like this.

   I'm bored. Who wants to fall in love with me until they find someone better?

   I love this oscillating fan 5 out of every 15 seconds

   I would love to kill you with kindness,but all I have is this knife.