love Funny Status Messages

   I love Facebook like Angelina Jolie loves to fill out adoption papers.

   At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet. At the touch of beer, everyone becomes a superhero.

   if you've been married less than a year, stop with all the love and marriage quotes. S hit will eventually hit the fan...

   The only person you should believe when they tell you they love you is your dog and weed.

   there's a thin line between love & hate & it's located on marriage certificates rite under the signatures

   when I make love, I like to do so to the sounds of the Star Trek theme, so that way the girl feels she's going to a place where no other girl has gone before

   Showing your love used to be buying them flowers or writing a poem. Now it's just looking at them for 5 minutes without checking your phone.

   Why do some parents always talk about how much they love their kids but the kids live 500 miles away with the other parent?

   If you love someone , let them go. If they dont come back, call them up later when your drunk and see wtf is going on

   I love Facebook because I can't afford gas for my car anymore so it's the only way I can visit with anyone now.

   "I love you! See ya in about an hour!" - Me talking to my beer.

   Ladies, don't believe the magazines. Men don't like skinny women who starve themselves. They love women who are pretty & starve themselves.

   The funnest thing about the end of a relationship is being honest about why you pretended to love each other.

   Chocolate contains 'phenylethylamine'. That's the same natural chemical your brain produces when you fall in love. And you wonder why women like chocolate.

   Love is that gun we all use to commit suicide.

   Just realised why women love shoes over clothing, because no matter how much weight they gain, the shoes still fit.

   I love to do housework in the nude. Unfortunately for the neighbours, today I'm roofing.

   If you can't celebrate Valentine's Day with someone you love, celebrate it with alcohol and pizza.

   I love St. Valentine's Day. Not the holiday, the massacre.

   Love fades....bacon is forever!