MWC Funny Status Messages

   Nobody calls me a fizzle and gets away with it!

   Good Morning Good afternoon and good evening ....in other words its all good

   When ever I think about the past,,, It brings back so many memories

   There is a fine line between fishing and standing on shore looking like an idiot

   I went to the bookstore and ask the sales woman "Where is the self help section" she said if she told me it would defet the purpose

   "2 women were sitting together quietly...."

   Does anyone know what these big patches of greenish shaggy stuff all over the ground is??? CREEPY!

   My wife told me to whisper dirty things to her, so I said "The Kitchen, Living room, Bedroom....

   Wife: Why do you go out in the balcony, when I start singing,,Me, So the neighbors don't think I'm beating you

   Money is not everything. There's also MasterCard & Visa.

   Love your neighbor. But don't get caught.

   Every one should marry because happiness is not the only thing in life...

   He said "Your obsession with cats is out of control. I can't handle it anymore." She cried, "You're kicking meeeowt?"

   My wife just put me in charge of obeying her.

   Turns out, pounding a wooden stake through a vampire's heart works even if the guy's not a vampire.

   Going vegetarian is a missed steak.......sorry had to

   Odd how all the 'intelligent life finding instruments' are pointed away from earth.

   Women just complain I mean gripe I mean argue I ........I mean women are smart honey

   A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'

   Everyone loved Jack-in-the-box as kids. now I'm older I like mine in the bottle