Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   The Walkman is offically dead. We had some good times in the 80's, and early 90's. You're in a better place now. RIP

   "You are probably a 30-year old drunk dude with nothing better to do than play video games" - An incredibly correct kid on Xbox Live

   the inventer of the "High Five"!!! - (you're welcome)

   a Jerkwagon... sorry folks, it's true.......

   I'm not pefect.. but gezzz....Have you seen my competition?

   has a time machine. I get in and it takes me seven hours into the future. I call it......a bed. Goodnight.

   so excited: my DVD collection of "Hoarders" is almost complete! And on VHS. And on Blu-ray and 8mm film. And LaserDisc. Where's my cat?

   types a hundred words a minute, but it's in my own language.

   shocked that Facebook is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people.

   If drinking destroys your memory, what does drinking do?

   Baseball is wrong. A man with 4 balls cannot walk.

   Stay warm people. It's "R. Kelly" cool out there…and by that I mean "in the teens."

   would never say this of myself, but my friends tell me that my milkshake is particularly adept at bringing gentlemen callers to the estate.

   'Paranormal Activity 2' made $41.5 million... Talk about money well spent.

   I figured out why I don't go out drinking much anymore... result being tagged in embarrassing photos on Facebook!

   Friend Requests are like a box of chocolate... you never know which are the nuts

   doesn't dress up for Halloween cause I'm a character all year long...

   With that interception returned for a TD by Desmond Bishop, Brett Favre has now thrown 5378 completions for a total of 463 touchdowns to the Green Bay Packers.

   i'd run away from home, but my Mom wont let me cross the street.

   Ok, does it make me too competitive, if I begin deleting friends solely because I can not beat their Bejeweled and or Family Feud scores?