Ecclesiastes assures us... that there is a time for every purpose under heaven. A time to laugh... and a time to weep. A time to mourn... and there is a time to dance.
I finally got around to reading the story of the headless horseman.Up until now I always thought the story was about a horse rider that couldn't get a erection.
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08-31-2010 12:32 by JeremyCakes
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Every top 10 list I've ever seen has at least two entries that are clearly better than number 1... especially when it comes to the preseason College Football poles.
I just read this in a news story: “Williams' body was found stuffed in a bag in the bathroom of his apartment with no obvious signs of foul play.” Um, isn't his body being in a bag in the bathroom a pretty good indicator that something went wrong?
I was not surprised to hear the obese woman in front of me in the Funnel Cake line say, "I only come to the fair to eat." However, I was skeptical when she added, "I like that I can eat AND walk around."
My friend was at a strip club and a girl came over and shook her goods for him while he talked to a friend not even looking at her. She said, "Scrw you, you didn't tip or even look at me?!?" Embarrassed, he gave her $20. My buddy got guilt stripped.
Girls, if you think you can "do better" we know you want a guy that makes more money. Guys, if you think you can "do better" we know you want a girl you like seeing naked... better.
The only reason I'd want to be both rich and famous is so that I can arrange dates with pretentious gold-diggers that are aware of my wealth and status -- then pick them up for our date in a beat-up, lime green Kia Rio and see their reaction.
A huge gym opened up right next to my local bar. No thanks, I'll just stick to my one-armed pint glass curls, drunk friend dead-lifts and pick-my-drunk-ass-off-the-floor push-ups.