love Funny Status Messages

   For the love of God, how do I remove Vuze from my computer????

   A dog asks a cat "How come I've never seen you cats making love in public?" The cat replies, "Do you want humans to steal our style like they did yours?"

   Sometimes, I say weird things during intercourse, like "I love you" and/or "Please look directly into the camera and say you have agreed to this."

   Here's to the women who love me terribly, May they soon improve.

   If you love something, let it go... down on you.

   Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge... Its much less painful

   Oi, FB friends, enjoy, love and relax..... love what you do and love the people around you... but always be prepared to explore and be ready for change............ dont get bored and dont be boring.......

   S.I.N.G.L.E = Sometimes It's Not Good to Love Everybody

   Things to do: 1) Dig a hole 2) Name it love 3) Watch people fall in love.

   HIM: “"Promise you'll love me forever." HER: “WTF?!? I don't even love you now.”

   I'm currently writing a book about my love of dogs and gardening. It's called b*tches and hoes.

   If my love, honesty, and loyalty aren't good enough for you...the guy in line behind you would love for you to move on.

   When you love someone more than what they deserve, you get hurt more than what you deserve.

   I texted my girlfriend "goodnight, love you" but accidentally sent it to my boss. Now Its awkward, cause he holds my hand during meetings.

   Dear Liver: thank you for being a most gracious and forgiving blood filter. Love, me.

   You're in love and I couldn't be happier for you. But can you let go of each others hands for four seconds so I can get past you on the f*ckin sidewalk?"

   I love being the first one up in the morning, it gives me time to take all the toilet paper out of the bathrooms for ransom....

   I would love to speak a foreign language but I can't. So I grew hair under my arms instead.

   Endless Love: Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles playing tennis.

   Well here I am, sitting on the pavement with my pork pies, sandwiches, & beer. Flying my union jack flag, cheering at the top of my voice with British pride as the procession goes past. Dont you just love muslim funerals.